Dear Chantel,
I am sorry that you felt compelled to write your one-sided point of view. It is also surprising considering your family have requested my aunt to once again take care of him!
For the attention that last week’s article (Estcourt’s house of horrors, Page 6, March 10) has gained, I’d like to use this platform to clarify for those who feed on this cheap sensationalism.
READ THE LETTER HERE: Estcourt’s house of horrors
I have known the “abused man” for 18 years, if not more. He is a kind, loving, respectful individual, whom I have much love and respect for. It is because of my respect for him that I will not stoop to your level. But, in all honesty, having known him for 18 years, and him never once mentioning that he had two supposed “adult daughters”, is questionable considering you were never present in his life up until this point. His marriage is not questionable and can be proven, you however, are a mystery.
The so-called “abused man” suffers from a disease called Alzheimer’s. It is a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behaviour. Symptoms usually develop slowly and get progressively worse over time. My uncle was diagnosed with a fast shrinking brain and an aggressive form of the disease. In a matter of days since diagnosis, he lost his memory, ability to do normal functions such as hold a conversation, eat or go to the toilet.
My aunt took him to hospitals and for different opinions and it was the same. They could not place him in a mental institution as they explained that it was a disease of the brain. My aunt took care of him and his daily needs.
She did everything from washing, bathing, feeding and changing him. As probably only ‘other’ Alzheimer’s family members know, this is a trying time, yet my aunt persevered. She requested me to assist in any way possible and I did by contacting Estcourt Social Services, Department of Justice as well as the Alzheimer’s Association of South Africa to try and assist him and the family. My aunt did inform his side of the family of his condition and upon the occasional visit, they would be as shocked as I was.
His condition was so severe that he would be talking to himself and was unable to recognise family, the inability to feed himself and the constant attention that he required meant that he was a full-time job. For any family, dealing with an ill person, it is mentally, physically and emotionally draining on any person.
My aunt did this with pride, always saying that she would rather take care of him than to allow for him to be abused by our often ‘unsympathetic’ health system. He was of such great temperament, gentle, loving and caring, so it was also a shock for my aunt and their minor daughter when he would become aggressive. He would be so aggressive that he would flip over the furniture, breaking the toilet of the house and do other strange things. We cannot understand the behaviour of such but obviously measures of restraint had to be used for his safety. Did you know that he did not sleep at nights? Yes, it’s a common for a person with the disease.
To prevent himself from injury and to protect him, my aunt did tie his hands at nights. The social workers are aware of this. She would often wake up to find him trying to do something or even hurting himself. As for starvation, if you had taken the time out to actually research before making accusations, you would know that the appetite of these patients change due to the progression of the disease.
I’m sure you have noticed, if he still is in your care, that he still eats as though he is starving and remains in your words ‘skin and bones’? There is no ‘house of horrors’ or ‘woman of terror’ there. The law works both ways and we will utilise this to expose what you and your family have done.
How is it that you, along with your cousins from Correctional Services, and the rest of your family go to my aunt’s house with the police and create a scene and call yourselves victims? How do you live with yourself? If you are his child, you have embarrassed him and all I can say is, shame on you!
From the time of his diagnosis up to now, we have tried in vain to get assistance for him. I, personally hope that you will find support and assistance for my uncle. I also hope that you do get legal representation you need, for you will need it. As for the police who harassed my aunt, together with the ‘cousins’ from Correctional Services, know that you are not above the law.
Moonera
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