GBV victim recounts survival story
“I said to myself if I don’t do something, this is the day that I’m going to die. I tried screaming for help many times and no one was coming. The window was my only way out.”
“Leave while you still have your life.”
That’s the message from Nqobile Msiza (21) to all women currently in abusive relationships.
The young student recollected the traumatic incident last year in which her ex-boyfriend, wanted suspect Sizwe Alfred Mguni, viciously and repeatedly attacked and detained her during a visit to his apartment.
Msiza was only able to escape by jumping out the second-floor window of the student dorm Mguni lived in. The fall broke both her legs.
“I saw the red flags, but I stayed in the relationship,” said Msiza.
The pair began dating in November 2020 as students at TUT. Msiza said Mguni first assaulted her for singing with male Sasco members during a rally after he had instructed her to stay clear of men.
“I could see from the start that this guy is just controlling and obsessive. To the extent that even if I went home (Soshanguve) to visit my family he’d think I was with other men. If I was out with my mum, he wanted me to send him proof, always went through my phone, etc. I knew there was something wrong,” continued Msiza.
Msiza endured months of controlling, abusive behaviour throughout the on-and-off relationship through to mid-2021.
Mguni would prohibit her from visiting friends and family or staying at the residence allocated to her. He wanted her to live with him at his residence where he repeatedly assaulted her for not obeying one of his many rules throughout their relationship.
He would assault her for wanting to go to church, visit her then ill (now late) mother or celebrate her brother’s birthday at Gold Reef City among numerous other incidents.
Mguni would also psychologically abuse Msiza, persistently calling and texting her whenever she was away, demanding her swift return.
He even intimidated the music conductor of the res choir Msiza sang in, into kicking her out of the choir because he believed the choristers often slept together. He would play Jekyll and Hyde whenever Msiza threatened to end the relationship.
“After burying my mother back in June, one night after a fight, he was drunk and kicked me out of the flat at midnight after I said I didn’t want to be with him. I had to go sleep at the security’s house because I had no money, and couldn’t call anyone.”
The final straw came in mid-August 2021. The couple had reconciled after a break earlier the same month and things were relatively stable.
A fight ensued on the morning of August 22 when Mguni was once again aggrieved that Msiza was going home later that day.
“I had just finished brushing my teeth and about to step into the shower when I felt a hand grab my neck and I was pulled out.”
Mguni began assaulting the naked Msiza who shouted and screamed for help.
“He kept saying that I don’t listen while beating me. I knew this was different because he would hit me before, I’d cry and he’d stop. I was crying and he wasn’t stopping at all.”
Msiza ran out of the room the couple shared, still unclothed, in search of assistance. The occupants of a nearby room refused to help, saying they didn’t want to get involved.
Msiza ran to a nearby communal bathroom where she locked herself in. When Mguni later found her, he demanded she return to his flat or he’d kick the door down and assault her naked in front of the now slowly gathering crowd.
Msiza relented and returned to the flat where the assault continued. Mguni then locked her in the room and took her cellphone after reportedly informing her that he wasn’t finished and would still return to further assault her.
“I said to myself if I don’t do something, this is the day that I’m going to die. I tried screaming for help many times and no one was coming. The window was my only way out.”
After she jumped out of the window and broke her legs, she still tried to crawl away from that room. The students began gathering and assisting her shortly after.
At Kalafong provincial tertiary hospital it was confirmed that both legs were broken. After operations, infections, long waits, and emotional and physical trauma, Msiza is slowly rebuilding her life.
She is still currently attending TUT and is focused on her studies and recovery.
Msiza plans to start a non-profit after completing her studies aimed at providing a platform for girls and women from townships to open up about similar situations affecting them and receive assistance for it.
“If he hits you once, he won’t stop, trust me. I know it’s sometimes complicated because you can find these guys are supporting the women financially or by other means. But no matter how complicated, you have to leave or it will eventually cost you your life,” concluded Msiza.
Sizwe Alfred Mguni is wanted by the Pretoria West SAPS for assault with intent to cause grievous bodily harm, kidnapping, GBV, and theft.
Lead investigator Detective Jason Macoba has urged Mguni to turn himself in and face his charges.
Anyone with information on the suspect is advised to contact the police on 012 327 4907/ 0800 10111.
ALSO READ: Sosh police launch CPF structure and GBV desk at TUT
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