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Understanding why couples divorce soon after marriage

The Polokwane Observer spoke to clinical psychologist Zelda Buitendag about why long-term couples might marry only to divorce shortly thereafter.

POLOKWANE – Why do long-term couples divorce soon after marriage?

It is often said that divorce has become “too easy” and that couples are unwilling to fight for their marriages.

Many divorces occur within just a year or two of marriage, even after years of dating.

To better understand this phenomenon, Polokwane Observer spoke to clinical psychologist Zelda Buitendag about why long-term couples might marry only to divorce shortly thereafter.

“There are many reasons why people divorce after dating for years,” said Buitendag.

She outlined several common causes:

Lack of commitment: “A lack of effort to make the relationship work, which can manifest as poor communication, unwillingness to compromise, or a lack of kindness.”
Infidelity: “Cheating is a leading cause of divorce. While some partners may give a second chance, repeated infidelity often leads to divorce.”
Constant arguing: “Frequent fights can reveal incompatibility or irreconcilable differences.”
Financial stress: “Money issues can strain relationships, particularly when one partner earns while the other does not. Disagreements about money can become vindictive if couples lack effective communication skills.”
Unrealistic expectations: “Differing expectations for the marriage, especially if neither partner is willing to compromise, can lead to significant problems.”
Inequality: “A power imbalance in the relationship can cause dissatisfaction and lead to separation.”
Inadequate preparation: “Entering marriage without understanding its challenges often results in divorce.”
Domestic violence: “Emotional, physical, or verbal abuse can prompt one partner to leave.”
Religious differences: “Divergent religious beliefs can cause conflict in a marriage.”
Communication breakdowns: “A lack of open and honest communication can make partners feel unheard or misunderstood.”
Incompatibility: “Some couples discover they are not a good match after marriage.”
Growing apart: “Changes in interests and priorities over time can lead to emotional distance.”
Family pressure: “Interference or undue pressure from family or friends can strain the relationship.”
Addiction: “Substance abuse, such as alcohol or drugs, can damage the marriage.”
Mental health challenges: “Untreated mental health issues can create significant strain on the relationship.”

Buitendag noted that each couple’s circumstances are unique and that the reasons for divorce can vary.

“Every situation is different, and it’s important to consider the individual dynamics of each relationship,” she added.

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