Funerals and Covid-19

When a loved one dies during these unprecedented times of Covid-19 it is hard to decide whether to have a funeral or memorial service now, or wait for the pandemic to end before commemorating your loved one with such a planned event.  The difficulties generally associated with losing a loved one have been exacerbated by a plethora of Covid-19 rules and regulations – even more so when Covid-19 was the cause of death. Emergency medical service personnel and undertakers have adapted to make room for new procedures. In doing so, they lessen the burden carried by grieving families and friends. Prior to the arrival of Covid-19, emergency medical service providers had to follow certain protocols when declaring a death. The mortal remains of the deceased are disinfected and stored following specific guidelines. While some chose to have it cremated, others chose traditional burials – some with open caskets. Funeral services could be attended by hundreds. Lockdown rules indicate that a funeral service held while South Africa remains under lockdown, may not be attended by more than 50 people who have sanitised their hands. Social distancing rules apply in that no two attendees may be closer than 1.5 metres from each other. Services may not exceed two hours and night vigils have been prohibited. Only those with the required permits may travel between provinces to attend a funeral.

Is jy voorbereid? Dit is die vraag wat Mornay en Ansie Engelbrecht van Anmor Begrafnisondernemers vra.

Mornay het verduidelik dat hulle veral tydens die pandemie al hoe meer gevalle teëkom waar daar nie voorbereiding getref is vir wanneer iemand sou sterf nie; en dit geld nie net vir bejaardes nie. Mense moet met hul families praat oor wat gedoen moet word die dag as hulle sterf.

“Ek weet dit is moeilik om met jou familie daaroor te praat, maar hulle moet weet wat jou wense is. Dit is so maklik. Skryf ‘n brief waarin jy jou wense duidelik uiteensit en gee dit vir jou familie,” het hy verduidelik.

“Dit maak dit vir ons en vir die families makliker wanneer die tyd aanbreek.”

Elke begrafnisondernemer word verplig om aan een van verskeie assosiasies te behoort. Daar ontstaan egter probleme as een begrafnisondernemer ‘n geliefde se liggaam verwyder, en die familie dan besluit om nie hul dienste te gebruik nie.

Daar is kostes aan verbonde om die liggaam van die een ondernemer na die ander te neem. Wanneer die betrokke ondernemers nie aan dieselfde assosiasie behoort nie kan die kostes hoog wees, en families is dan meestal nie daarop voorbereid nie.

Daarom stel Mornay voor dat daar reeds vooraf ‘n plan daarvoor sal wees en dat die familie daarvan sal weet.

Nog ‘n belangrike aspek is ‘n begrafnispolis wat mens deesdae byna op enige plek kan uitneem en nie baie kos nie.

“Dit verlig die druk op jou en jou familie.”

Tydens die pandemie het dinge ten opsigte van begrafnisse baie verander het. Daar word selfs deesdae op ander maniere gerou, het Ansie en Mornay vertel. Daar vind meer verassings plaas en dan word net ‘n klein diens gehou, met die doel om later na die grendeltyd ‘n groot diens te hou.

Ander families verkies weer om die diens regstreeks oor Zoom of Facebook te stroom sodat geliefdes wat nie daar mag wees nie, ook kan inskakel.

“Dit is baie moeilik want mense kan mekaar nie vertroos nie en kan nie saam rou nie,” het Ansie gesê. Daar is nie meer ‘n omgeedrukkie nie, en in sekere gevalle kan ‘n geliefde nie meer besigtig word nie.

“Die hartseerste is wanneer familie mekaar nie mag gesien het tydens die grendeltyd nie, en nie kon afskeid neem nie,” het Mornay bygevoeg. Besoek gerus www.anmor.co.za vir meer besonderhede.

 

In addition to having lost a loved one, you are overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done – ranging from the funeral to the administration of the estate. You do not know where to start. Rest assured as here is a short guide to help you.

1. Firstly, make arrangements with the funeral parlour regarding the burial or cremation of your loved one. Grieve the loss and focus on supporting the close family members.
2. Once the funeral has passed you can start looking for a will. If there is a will, find out who has been appointed as the executor. This usually guides you to whom to contact. But what if there is NO will? Do not stress, it is not as complicated as you might have thought. As a family, you will then need to find a qualified person to assist with the administration of the estate. Or if you have been appointed as the executor, what should you do next?  The same will apply; you can seek the assistance of a qualified person to assist you with the administration of the estate.
3. The question is: Who is such a qualified person? It can be either one of the following:

An attorney, a bank that has a deceased estates department, an auditor or a trust company

4. Once you have found a qualified person to assist, what now? The person will advise you on what documents you need to bring to the meeting, such as the will; Death Certificate; Marriage Certificate; ID book/card; proof of assets/ list of assets; statement of liabilities; beneficiaries’ details; and the BI-1663 (Notification of Death).

From here onwards, you are in good hands. You can expect regular feedback on the progress with the estate.

If you need more information or require the assistance on any of the above, please feel free to contact us on 011 033 8701/2/3 or at annie@adattorneys.co.za.

We want to leave you with the following thought by Stephen Covey: “Live, love, laugh and leave a legacy”.

Mar†in’s Funerals is a company dedicated to their clients.  They are always available to all who request their services and treat them with lots of love and compassion.

Who to contact in the case of a death:

• Ambulance services
• Martin’s Funeral Services
• Family member or friend to support you
• In the event of an unnatural death – contact the SAPS (an unnatural death is defined as a death that does not occur due to an illness, i.e. a motor vehicle accident, suicide, homicide etc.)

The following people need to be contacted for funeral arrangements:

This can be done by your Martin’s Funerals arrangement officer whilst discussing the final arrangements

• Family doctor for the death certificate or cremation documents: Should the deceased not have a doctor, our doctor will examine the deceased and issue the documents for the death certificate, or conduct a private post mortem in the case of a cremation or for life insurance claims
• Minister: Should the deceased not have a minister, we will gladly arrange one for the family
• Church: If the chosen church is not available or if the deceased did not belong to one, the Martin’s Funerals Chapel is available for the service. All the funeral arrangements will be made by Martin’s Funerals on your behalf

Important documents needed:

• Identity document – deceased
• Identity document – next of kin
• Funeral policyI documents
• Printed marriage certificateI Divorce decreeI Death certificate of pre-deceased spouse (in the event of policy claims)
• Date and time of the service required
• Cemetery details in the event of a burial
• Photograph for the funeral programme

Decisions you will have to make:

• Should your loved one be buried or cremated?
• Music to be played
• Names of pallbearers
• Person who will deliver the eulogy or acknowledgments
• Would you like to view the deceased prior to the service?
• Type of flower
  arrangements
• Photo for the programme

Martin`s Funerals offers a complete service, allowing you as a family to deal with the loss of your loved one. More info is available on www.martinsfunerals.co.za  or email them on info@martinsroode.co.za. Tel: 011 760 2420.

The regulations prohibit interprovincial travel. Among the exceptions are those travelling to funerals. In order to cross provincial boundaries as lockdown regulations prescribe, you will have to bear a permit granted by the police or a magistrate. The permit is called a “Lockdown Regulation Form 4 Permit”. This will only be granted to those who had a close relationship with the deceased. In order to successfully apply for such a permit, the applicant will have to submit a copy of the deceased’s death certificate. If that is not available, the affidavit known as “Lockdown Regulation Form 5” must be filled out and commissioned. Mourning a death becomes even more complicated once someone dies as a result of Covid-19.

The deceased’s belongings must be handled with gloves, cleaned with a detergent and disinfected with a solution of no less than 70 per cent ethanol, also called “0.1 per cent bleach.” Fabric items such as clothing that belonged to the deceased, must be machine washed with detergent at 60 to 90 degrees Celsius. If a washing machine is not available, it should be soaked in hot water and soap in a large drum and stirred with a stick or stick-like object. Avoid splashing. Once the drum has been emptied, the fabric items must be soaked in 0.05 per cent chlorine for 30 minutes, whereafter the items must be allowed to dry in full sunlight.  The assistance of an undertaker could be of great value to grieving families and friends who lost someone dear to them.

Once you hear that someone has passed away, you can phone their family and talk to them. Give your condolences and deepest sympathies but do not linger on the phone. You want to let the person know that you are aware of the tragedy and you are ready to support them during their time of grief.

Share your fondest memories and photos

When someone is planning a funeral of a loved one, there might be a slide show or video and a speech at the funeral. You can help by sharing your fondest memories or photos of the person. They can either use your story in their speech or your photos in their slide show should they wish to and if not, they will still know you care.

Provide support in any way possible

One of the most important things you can do during this time is to show your support in any way possible. Their loved ones are under immense stress to plan a funeral that their loved one deserves. Showing support can

be emotional, making a donation,

having flowers delivered, or even having a hot meal delivered when you know the person is either too emotional or too busy with planning to cook.

Always follow up with them

Just because the funeral is over does not mean the person who lost the deceased is no longer thinking of them. They are still going through the stages of mourning even after the funeral. The best thing is to continue showing support. Check in on them regularly and make sure they are okay. They will appreciate knowing that you still care, even after the burial – most make the mistake to stop phoning once the funeral has passed.

Covid-19 has deprived people of the precious last moments of a farewell due to the nature of the virus and the regulations implemented to contain its spread.  The impact of being unable to say goodbye to your loved one on their deathbed during quarantine can never be underestimated. Complicated grief caused by delayed mourning may result in some cases. The restrictions placed on funerals mean that hugs, night vigils and comforting hands are no more. Only 50 people are allowed to attend.  Sonja Smith Funeral Group, Roodepoort provides some parting advice:   When your dearest cannot be near you, don’t be afraid to use technology to talk about your loss. Follow the Active Grief Community https://www.facebook.com/activegriefcommunity/ for more information on Monthly Grief support groups. Facilitated by Dani Donald and Atishca Makan, this is a safe, interactive platform created with the intention of providing a supportive and compassionate space to learn, share and connect with others on a similar journey.

A ceremony and ritual are crucial to close the rifts created by Covid-19. Sonja Smith Funeral Group, Roodepoort will help honour and commemorate your loved one in safety and with love and care, no matter the circumstances created by the current pandemic. For more information, please contact Marisca at 010 300 9055.