If the price of petrol makes you cry … read this!

These days it seems that we just cannot catch a break and that life is just getting more difficult with each passing day as the cost of living never stops increasing.

It is no wonder that we all feel gloomy as we try to make ends meet amid rising food prices, regular interest rate hikes, higher water and electricity tariffs, and of course the ever-increasing petrol price.

The price of petrol has been on a steady upwards trajectory for the past three months resulting in South Africans having to tighten an already very tight belt, in an effort to make their salary (which has not experienced the same growth) stretch even further.

As we all know, South Africans have relied on humour to get them through many a tough situation, and it is also the case in this situation. (I do believe that we would rather laugh than cry, because should we start crying, we might never stop again!)

So, in an effort to help you save on petrol, I have found some tips on Facebook posted by Rory Petzer, a comedian:

1. Drive backwards as often as possible. Whenever you reverse your car, you actually put petrol BACK INTO your tank. Be sure to monitor your fuel gauge though. When your tank is full, DO NOT reverse. Your tank will explode.

2. Tell your friends your car was stolen and get lifts from them to wherever you need to go. People love being lied to and also love to feel needed. When they ask you about your insurance, just run your hand through your hair casually and say, “My broker is useless. She’s working on it as we speak.” When they become really suspicious and start wanting to ‘help you with your insurance claim’ move on and find another friend. You could do this for at least five to ten years if you have enough friends. Just make sure they don’t ever speak to each other.

3. Try your best to move house. The higher up you live from where you work, the less petrol you will use as you can freewheel to work for most of the way. When you need to go home, just tell a colleague your car won’t start and ask them to tow you home. Important: Always keep a tow rope in your boot, so when you produce the rope, the colleague will panic and feel obliged to say yes. If possible, start fitting the tow rope to your colleagues’ car before they arrive at their car. This will make them feel awkward and compelled to say yes.

4. Pack a suitcase and leave all your clothes at work. Drive there naked in the mornings. The less you wear, the lighter you are, the less weight will be in the car, meaning the less petrol you will use. Also, look around your car to see what you never use. If you never use the back seats, take them out as they weigh quite a bit. The same goes for the doors, the bonnet, the boot lid, the spare wheel. Remove them all and your car will weigh much less. There really is no point in carrying the doors around if all you ever do is open them to get in anyway.

5. Try to quit your job and get rid of all your friends. Studies have proven that people who have nowhere to be drive much less and sometimes not even at all. The less you drive, the less petrol you will use.

If you have some tips of your own, please feel free to share them, as they say, sharing is caring!

Until next week, stay safe and look out for each other …