Dear Laura
So glad to hear that you got the landlord to get rid of that bougainvillia that was growing out of the side of the cottage. I know it looks a bit bare now, but those roots would have had the walls cracking all round you in no time. Be very careful about what you plant to replace it. You must consult a good nursery before you decide to plant anything, but I don’t think there’s much wrong with rambling roses and they fill up a blank space faster than you might think. My ‘Crepuscule’ reached roof height and three metres wide in its second season. But don’t expect to be able to pick the flowers and put them in vases – they wilt at the mere thought of it!
As for the THING you found in the veggie patch – it’s nothing more than an overgrown baby marrow. Yes, they do grow two feet long and so fat that you can’t get your hands round them! If you lived in England, you’d be out there every morning, talking it into growing bigger and winning the ‘best marrow’ prize at the village show! As you don’t have a village show at which to display it, I suggest you harvest it and eat it.
If it’s gone yellow, it might be a bit tough and you’ll have to turn it into marmalade, but if the skin is dark green, then the flesh inside will still be perfectly acceptable as a vegetable. You will have to peel it and get the seeds out, and how you go about the latter will depend on how you intend to serve it.
Cut into chunks about the size of a cigarette packet and steamed until tender, it is probably good for you, but terribly dull. A cheese sauce on top makes all the difference. Or you could put it on a bed of rice, with or without other vegetables, and cover it with a tuna sauce. Make your white sauce with cornflour as usual but, instead of melting cheese into it, add a tablespoon each of tomato sauce and mayonnaise, a few drops of tabasco and a tin of shredded tuna. (You can give the tuna oil to the cat, but not all at once!)
Alternatively, sliced cross-wise and hollowed out to make rings, the marrow can be served with individual portions of stew inside, which makes it a whole lot more interesting. Cut length-wise, it won’t fit in the steamer, but it’s worth the effort of turning it into an edible serving dish. Just scoop out the seeds, put it in your roasting tray with an inch of water, cover the whole thing very firmly with foil – the heavy duty stuff can be dried off and re-used many times, so it’s not expensive in the long run – and bake in a slow oven. Make sure you rescue it before it goes splat!
From there on, it’s up to you. You could serve your other vegetables in it without losing the melted butter into the bottom of the dish, or fill it with macaroni cheese and have it as a meal by itself. As an edible container, it’s superb for shepherd’s pie, steak and kidney or chicken à la king. Being so bland – alright, tasteless – it goes extremely well with spicy dishes, so add a teaspoon or so of medium roast masala to your basic mince or stew and use that as a filling. Or go the whole hog and stuff it with curry.
The possibilities are endless, but don’t serve it to visitors unless you know them very well. I remember being fed stuffed marrow a friend’s house many years ago. We weren’t even halfway through when somebody let out a couple of mild pops. The host glared at the dog and the rest of us said nothing. Then there was a rattle of machine-gun fire, and the dog was banished from the room. The next few explosions caused tremendous embarrassment to the host, but then his wife and I joined in and, by the end of the meal, we were all in fits of laughter, trying play tunes with our excess hot air! The dog, by now acquitted of any misdemeanour, spent the rest of the evening chasing farts!
So don’t give it to the rector!
Love Mom
