ROLL on August 3 and let’s just get this damned local government election over and done with.
Until then, life in South Africa will remain almost surreal as communities block freeways, burn schools, trash universities and stamp their feet like little kids if they don’t get their way.
This father’s letter to a son could just be true:
“Now son… this is the way we do things in this country:
“First we go to school. There is no need to learn too much as we can always buy a thing called a ‘condoned pass’ on your way to ‘matric’.
“Don’t worry about passing that either as we know someone who knows someone who can pay someone for the exam papers before you have to write them.
“But it’s very important that you get that piece of paper because that’s the ticket to… ‘university’. If we get you in, don’t be too serious about any ‘degree’ as you will be going into politics right away.
“It’s very easy. You get some of your friends drunk and then you all throw poo over anything you can find that has anything to do with ‘history’.
“This is because South Africa’s ‘history’ is bad. Do this properly and soon you will be ‘connected’.
“Oh, and don’t bother me or your mom about paying fees. There is absolutely no need. Just find a few friends to join you, toyi-toyi here and there, break a window, throw a few rocks at the police and burn some old tyres (that’s always good for effect).
“There have been cases where students have burned down a laboratory, library or two, but that might be a bit extreme.
“Even the most understanding political bigwigs these days are condemning this tactic.
“Be a ‘responsible activist’ and soon you will be on your way to being a… ‘politician’.
“Then you go home, join a local branch of a political party and boast about your campus ‘credentials’. If you impress the right branch members, you will get onto a ‘slate’.
“Soon you will be in council or even parliament earning a big fat salary. You can sleep all day and you just have to wake up now and again to press a button or put your hand up to ‘vote’ like your colleague sitting next to you. Then the world is your perlemoen, my boy.
“Yours sincerely, dad.
“PS: Try not to sit next to anyone from the opposition. If you wake up suddenly and vote like him by accident, you are in BIG poo yourself! As some politician said once: ‘It’s cold out there!’”
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