AUGUST 3 is not quite as simple as black and white.
No, it’s about voting for yellow people, blue people, red people, orange people and maybe a few other colours we don’t know about. The smaller parties probably can’t afford T-shirts for their followers.
Even the ANC’s Jesse Duarte knows that this election is all about colour and ran around Cape Town in a yellow T-shirt recently shouting: “The devil wears blue!”
(That was presumably borrowed from her favourite movie, the Devil Wears Prada, starring Meryl Streep, who might be the right actress to play the part of the DA’s Helen Zille – if she ever warrants a spot on the big white screen.)
Whether the majority of voters have taken the time to study the various big-gun parties’ manifestos is doubtful and, judging by the pole posters, this ‘local’ government election is all about ‘national’ political figures.
In other words, show blanket support for either President Zuma, Mmusi Maimane or Julius Malema as your super hero and take what you get locally.
So, if it all boils down to these leaders and the colour of their T-shirts, you need to know what brain quacks say about their personalities (borrowed from a site named Indian Bookworms):
* Yellow – You’re a happy disposition, cheerful and fun to be with. (That’s President Zuma to a tee-hee-hee.) You are creative, often being the one who comes up with new ideas. (The ‘fire pool’ at Nkandla was pure genius.) You tend to have your head in the clouds much of the time. (That’s why he needs a new plane.)
* Blue – You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy. (Well, Mr Maimane is a pastor.) You are quite trusting of others, although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. (Unlike your predecessor who had a brief ‘marriage’ with Mamphela Ramphele in the last elections.) You are not impulsive – you always think before you speak and act. (Clever! Rather walk out of Parliament instead of getting physically thrown out like others.)
Red: You are extrovert and optimistic. (No argument there, but you’re not having my house.) You are action-orientated and physically active. (That’s probably why Ju-Ju is looking so slim and trim these days.) You are ambitious and competitive. You can be aggressive and easy to anger, often exhibiting a violent temper. (’Nuff said.)
Personally, I’m looking for a ‘Pink Party’ – You are loving, kind, generous and sensitive to the needs of others. Tannie Evita maybe?
HAVE YOUR SAY
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