WHO needs Hollywood when we have such high drama right on our own doorstep?
All we needed last week was footage from a few high quality CCTV cameras in strategic places in and around the Scottburgh Mall, a bit of dramatic music and Oscars here we come!
We would have had our very own ‘blockbuster’ movie.
Picture the script:
* Gang of about 10 highly professional bank robbers, armed with R4s, R5s and AK47s;
* They position themselves strategically outside the offices of our sister newspaper, the Mid South Coast Mail (possibly for marketing purposes);
* One of them waves at one of the cameras: “Hi, ma!” (He might get the Oscar if he gives himself up.)
* Ever alert Magma security men respond quickly to the alarm as some of the gangsters break into the mall and get to work blowing up the safes in two banks;
* Security and police run slap-bang into an ambush and are pinned down at the road entrance to the mall.
Meanwhile, Sleepy Hollow residents jackknife in their beds as they awake to the telltale echoes of ‘rat-a-tat-tat’ in the otherwise early morning silence.
While the good guys wisely keep their heads down, the baddies hightail it out of the back door, over a fence and to their getaway vehicles waiting on the adjacent N2 highway.
The only thing missing in this real-life drama is some cigar-smoking, tough-talking, rugged-looking police chief barking orders over the radio:
* “Code 2, code 2” (which actually means ‘emergency’);
* “Code 11/60” (attack in high hazard area);
* “Three zero, zero, zero” (set up roadblock).
The movie editors would probably need a bit of leeway here as the actual live radio buzz probably went something like this:
* “Code 10/9” (which means ‘repeat message’);
* “Code 10/7 (out of petrol) or;
* “Code 10/10” (off duty).
As the movie progresses, will there be a hero who cracks the case and gets a medal for bravery from our ‘acting’ national police commissioner?
Unfortunately, the last two commissioners were fired and the previous one died after being jailed for taking bribes from a Mafia hood.
Will this gang strike again?
Will there be a happy ending?
Sorry to keep you in suspense, dear reader, but we’ll just have to wait… and wait and see.
The bad news for our malls further south is that there was apparently slim pickings at the two banks in Scottburgh so the gang leaders will probably now have their sights set on more lucrative targets.
Cameras ready, guys.
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