WHEN you have grown up on the beaches of Mozambique with names like Bazaruto, Santa Maria, Ponto de Oro, you get a spoilt for much else ocean-wise. And let’s face it, here in England, the beaches are not where Hollywood would film Baywatch.
But one thing I do love about English seaside resorts is the fantastic history. I guess that goes for the whole country, but these villages really are unique.
We were in Ilfracombe, Devon, recently and went to a restaurant called ‘Alfie and the Kaiser’. I asked the waitress why such a weird name and she gave me a pamphlet outlining the story.
Apparently, the history books have got it all wrong.
The First World War did not start in June 1914 when Archduke Franz Ferdinand was slotted in Sarajevo and Kaiser Bill invaded much of mainland Europe.
Nah … it’s because a beach attendant called Alfie Price gave Kaiser Bill a bloody nose during a beach brawl in Devon, circa 1878.
According to reports at the time, the 19-year-old future Kaiser, then Prince Wilhelm, was on holiday in Ilfracombe and for some reason started throwing stones at a row of Victorian beach huts which belonged to Alfie’s father.
Alfie, who was only 16, told the imminent German Emperor to cease and desist.
The Prince then barked the hipster’s favourite phrase: “Do you know who I am?”
Alfie replied: “I don’t care a dash who you are. Stop chucking stones or it will be the worse for you.” (That’s taken verbatim from the historical record – and it’s highly unlikely that Alfie did not recognise the celebrity Prince as Bill was also Queen Victoria’s grandson.)
Wilhelm, who had a bad left arm but had been professionally coached in boxing, punched Alfie in the face, knocking him onto the sand.
Alfie immediately got up and floored the aspiring Kaiser with a single blow, bloodying his nose.
The resulting brawl lasted 20 minutes, and even though soon-to-be Kaiser Bill was three years older than the peasant teenager, he had to be rescued by members of the royal entourage.
Apparently, from that day on the Kaiser nurtured a hatred for the English, but for obvious ego reasons didn’t refer to his bloody nose.
To paraphrase John Cleese ‘Don’t mention the brawl’.
Which apparently is why history books got the real reason for the start of the Great War all wrong.
Or so they say, down on the beaches of Devon.
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