IS there a shortage of pigs in South Africa at the moment?
(Before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusion, this is in reference to the four legged, oink-oink, snort-snort, grovelling kind. Not the two-legged chauvinists who also tend to snort, but refuse to grovel. We have plenty of the latter.)
Is it the drought? Has there been an outbreak of swine flu? Who let the wolves out.. howl, howl?
If not, why have these little piggies not gone to market yet in gammon form?
A thorough search last week of the more cost-effective supermarkets on the coast revealed none and, after drowning my sorrows at a few watering holes en route, it was wee wee all the way home.
As any South Coaster will attest to, this is an extremely costly time of year for most of us. It’s that time when friends and family pitch up for their annual free-ish holiday-by-the-sea at your home. “Don’t worry, we’ll all chip in,” they promise. Bah, humbug!
Being renowned as good hosts (that’s why they keep coming back), we all tend to stock up with extra goodies months in advance and as one’s meagre earnings allow. Also, prices tend to increase closer to the season of ‘goodwill’.
Hence, the frustration over the current lack of gammon stocks. Huff, puff!
Then, last Friday, I thought I had hit the jackpot. A supermarket at Oribi Centre had a whole pile of smallish and very well priced gammon… so why not buy four instead of one big one?
Very chuffed with myself, they were just about to go into the freezer when the small print on the label jumped out at me: “Previously frozen.”
Gadzooks! Everyone knows one can’t refreeze defrosted meat.
Sigh! So, last Friday my wife and I had a gammon each for supper. There was enough left over for cold gammon and salad for lunch the next day, pasta Alfredo with gammon and mushrooms for supper, fried gammon and egg for breakfast the next morning, more cold gammon and salad for lunch… and we still have two more gammon to cook before the expiry date this weekend.
Needless to say, not only will it be ‘stuff the Cornish hen’ this Festive Season, but my guests can damn well buy their own gammon as well.
(PS: Does anyone know of a good Chinese massage parlour on the South Coast? A friend of mine in government circles is visiting and he says it’s no secret that they give the best manicures.)
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