Growing up in a black community, raised by black parents who strongly believed in culture, many of us have always been told that Indoda aykhali (men don’t cry).
Dear society!
I have seen how you have forced men not to express their pain and to bottle up their emotions because Indoda aykhali!!
"Indoda ayKhali" One proverb I don't agree with.
— Adore (@Pexah518) September 13, 2017
I have seen how society has led young women to believe that a man who cries is weak and ‘not man enough’.
Is this fair? Do men not have emotions too?
Tell those parents who tell their male children that "umfana akakhali" or "indoda aykhali" then they raise men who are angry and trashy. https://t.co/FAmJJQmg5f
— Big Mommy (@BitterFeminist_) August 10, 2017
I have always believed crying was not sign of weakness, but the expression of an emotion, an emotion that is no different at all from smiling or laughing when we’re happy.
Some of us believe "indoda aykhali" means a man doesn't cry nor is he allowed to talk re his probs. Emotionally and psych harmful to self.
— LUNGA🌍MDLETSHE (@loobangs) May 11, 2017
Dear men: It’s okay to cry!
Ngoba indoda aykhali you take it in like a man.
Sitting at a bar thinking why am i still here?..— DollarBoi (@xulu_ntokozo) March 8, 2017
Having to watch young black men in particular, in rural areas (I refer to them because of my experience) walking long distances barefoot to try and get an education, with some going to school on empty stomachs, and some only to get there and be bullied.
As if this was not enough, when they get home they can only eat what’s on the table.
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Even if it’s just Ngumbhubhudlo ne papa (pap and sweetwater), they had no choice, not like some of us who could pick and choose what to eat!
Only to be told, at the end of all that, that men don’t cry.
Black don’t crack, so they say, especially men! (Indoda aykhali)
39yr old crying wena u are a boy n u claim indoda ayikhali #Askaman
— Gloriaaa ❤️😍 (@ladyhuneybee) November 25, 2016
The responsibilities, and constant expectations resting on men can be too much to bear, and the pain bottled inside often catches up with them at a later stage.
And we women don’t make it any easier for them. We constantly demand this and that, we forget the difficulties being a men can come with.
Having to provide for a family, at times with no assistance at all can be emotionally draining. Sometimes having no money to care for those you love can be heartbreaking!
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(To women reading this, I know you too have a lot you go through but this is not about you. so stop for a while and think about your son, your husband or your brother)
STOP with this saying Indoda Aykhali!
What can they do? Who will they turn to when society labels them weak for reaching out?
God gave you tears so you can cry"@SifisoMdladla: @Msquare_gifted Indoda aykhali ifela ngaphakathi,Imagine a lady comforting a teary guy."
— Mphoza⚘ (@Vho_Mpho) February 14, 2015
Should they turn to alcohol abuse, drugs or physical abuse to prove that they are man enough?
Think about that.
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