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Butthead’s Beat: Don’t be a mountain bike ‘plonker’

There's nothing more embarrassing than stopping at a traffic light while cycling only to discover you have forgotten to twist your feet out of those cleat thingies. One feels like a right plonker falling over.

Mountain biking is said to be one of the fastest-growing sports in South Africa, understandably so because it’s too dangerous to cycle on our roads any more.

The late Olympian Burry Stander is a case in point.

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Stick to the mountains… much more scenic and exciting, although there are a few ‘cleat falls’. The Herald’s star journalist Shona Aylward has a sprained wrist to prove it.

We certainly owe Burry and his family a debt of gratitude as they have had a huge impact on growing the sport locally.

The cycle park developed by his parents in Burry’s memory outside Umtentweni is extremely popular.

Burry died after he was hit by a taxi, but personal experience is that trucks with wing mirrors are far more scary.

My ears have flapped in the wind on several occasions.

Bikers come from far and wide to see Burry’s ‘ghost bike’ casually propped up against a pole near Shelly Beach where he died years go. It’s an eerie reminder to all of us to take special care… and also testimony to his hero status that the bike hasn’t been stolen yet.

Although anyone can do it, there are a few tricks that might help should you ever decide to try mountain biking.

Take it from an enthusiastic novice who has the grazes to prove it, practice with those cleat thingies on the pedals before you get mobile.

When nobody’s looking, lean up against a wall and master the art of twisting both ankles so you can free them easily from the cleats that lock your feet in.

Believe me, you really want to avoid the embarrassment of stopping at a traffic light only to find your feet trapped and you plonk over sideways in full view of everyone. It’s a heart-stopping moment, if only for one’s bruised ego.

Also, one sometimes tends to come to a grinding halt up steep hills and, once again, it’s easy to forget that your feet are locked in. Plonk! You’re on your ear again.

But don’t think it stops there. Just when you think you’ve mastered the art of escaping the cleats, along come those pesky shoelaces.

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Once again, believe me, you don’t want them flapping in the wind. They tend to find their way into the front cog… and just pray it happens when you are going slowly.

Remember these simple tips (that my coach, Farmer Brown Lindsay, conveniently forgot to tell me) and avoid becoming a ‘plonker’.

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