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Butthead’s Beat: Monkeying about with vervets

They don't cull humans, do they?

Monkeys have to be evolving, as Charles Dawin suggested about two centuries ago.

How else can one explain their ability to open doors to raid fruit bowls and even fridges?

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Heck, we witnessed one screwing the lid off a cold drink bottle on a golf cart last weekend.

And on another cart: “Hey! I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! That cheeky bugger unzipped my golf bag.”

We were on tour on the North Coast and, sadly, it was cold enough to ‘freeze the balls off a brass monkey’.

But it was still ‘more fun than a barrel of monkeys’.

One can go on and on with monkey sayings, but the one that has intrigued historians is: “Never hold discussions with the monkey while the organ grinder is in the room.”

It’s not definite, but some credit Winston Churchill who might have made the remarks about the advisers of either Roosevelt or Stalin.

Love them or hate them, there’s no denying that these (sometimes) pesky little critters are often quite entertaining, even cute when they are young.

It’s no wonder that some feel the need to care for them, like Scottburgh’s ‘Monkey Lady’ who hit the headlines recently when authorities closed down her unlicensed sanctuary.

Her neighbour split on her, claiming that her ‘pets’ invaded his home and made life unbearable.

The problem is that vervet populations seem to be exploding and they are getting up to, well, all sorts of ‘monkey business’.

It really is a dilemma.

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None have been spotted with ‘brass balls’, but the males with blue testes can be quite aggressive, especially when children don’t share their sarnies.

There’s also a theory that bird life is dwindling because monkeys raid nests.

What to do?

In truth, humans are the real intruders, but one can hardly cull them.

So the choices are: control monkey populations… or hide the fruit.

After all, ‘monkey see, monkey do’.

 

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