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Butthead’s Beat: ‘Tee’ with my mate, Kenny Kaunda

Golf, the great 'leveller'. Even Donald can Trump a pro.

Golf has to be the most productive of all sports.

Think about it. What other sport is there where one can talk shop to a captive audience for more than four hours?

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OK, so the sport is also a good source of saucy jokes, but that cements relationships and there’s always time for a sales pitch.

Along with MBA degrees, it should be compulsory for all company executives – male or female – to learn how to play golf.

Most South Coast golf courses have ‘business days’, but these seem to have morphed into the same four mates playing together every time.

However, Nomads – a countrywide network of golfers – has the right idea. Locally, about 120 businessmen from all over KZN are thrown into a mix on the second Tuesday of every month, playing on courses from Umkomaas to Wild Coast.

It’s very dignified, sexist (unfortunately) and a must for anyone open for business. Insist on being included, ladies.

Golf is also a great ‘leveller’. Ask my mate, Kenneth Kaunda.

True story. A pal, who was head of public relations for a large insurance company, asked me to arrange a social game at the Wanderers some years go.

He was flying in from Cape Town, but promised to make it in time for tee-off.

The draw at the pro shop had us down to play with two ‘AN Others’. They turned out to be a young professional and… Zambia’s former president!

Everyone was crowded around the great statesman asking for autographs while my partner was nowhere to be seen.

Frantic phone call: “Hugo! Where the heck are you?”

Look up to see him racing down the path with golf bag over his shoulder, shoes in one hand and cellphone at his ear.

Huff, puff… “What’s the hurry? Are we playing with the effing president, or something?”

Kenny looked up and grinned.

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