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Butthead’s Beat: Plum times for home invaders

Boom time for burglars as Eskom load shedding hits hard.

Electricians are said to be training to become plumbers now because people literally have the sh..ts.

Largely thanks to the Guptas and their #Eskommustfall campaign, South Africans are now facing regular load-shedding again. Some say it could last years.

Hence, there’s not much money in being an electrician any longer. Plumbers, on the other hand, are bound to be quite flush.

ALSO READ : Butthead’s Beat: Stiff competition among fraudsters

One can’t even talk about this ‘current state of affairs’ being ‘shocking’.

After all, there’s often no ‘current’ to ‘shock’ anyone.

We are literally going back into the dark ages when humans had to light a fire to survive. Thank goodness South Africans know how to braai.

So don’t think of ‘going off the grid’.

Mark my words, there will soon be a shortage of candles, matches, charcoal and firelighters.

Shiver! Another ‘profession’ that is bound to prosper in these dark times is… crime.

Did you know that the backup battery powering many alarm systems only lasts for a few hours?

I only discovered this after a very rude awakening at 3am on Saturday morning… the alarm went off when the battery went flat.

Exacerbating the security threat, air conditioners and fans don’t work so one is forced to take a chance and sleep with the windows open.

This brings back a scary memory of burglars using bolt cutters to get through our ‘jail’ bars, taking our wallets and everything electronic while we slept.

My wife still has nightmares about whether they laughed at her drooling.

My son happened to be staying over recently and had firsthand experience of the terror.

It was pitch black so he couldn’t really see much. Was that the curtain moving?

The hair on his arms prickled… he held his breath…

Yes! The curtains rustled!

He threw back the sheet and woke us all up with his shout: “WHO’S THERE?”

The intruder responded: “Meow.”

The cat ‘burglar’ then hopped on the bed… ‘purrrrr’.

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