4 Springboks who could do with a haircut

It’s not like the Springboks don’t already cop a tremendous amount of flak, so I don’t want to further hurt any feelings …but there are some Boks who could seriously do with a haircut.

Admittedly, I’m old school, growing up in the era of short back and sides.

In no particular order, here’s a lighter look at some Boks who should head to the barber for a haircut that takes no longer than seven minutes.

1. EBEN ETZEBETH
His predecessor Bakkies Botha had very short hair and he was truly terrifying. Yes, Victor Matfield had scraggly locks, but he grew them properly and looked like a wild man from the mountains. Etzebeth seems stuck somewhere in the middle. I think a crew cut would make him look even scarier. I want to see the fire in his eyes. Even better, I want to see his opponents see that fire and tremble. At the moment it’s partly obscured by a no-man’s-land fringe.

2. ELTON JANTJIES
How long does it take him every day to get all his lines and angles right? As a fan it’s distracting. I keep wondering if he lost bets to various thugs and has to keep them all happy in some way or another by promising to wear his hair the way he does. Dan Carter and Jonny Wilkinson, both left-footed World Cup winning marksmen, kept it neat and tidy. Perhaps Elt should as well.

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3. DILLYN LEYDS
The man-bun has got to go. In a game of inches and nano-seconds, his hair could slow him down just enough for an opponent to catch him as he tries to dot down in the corner. Perhaps he’s a distant relative of Cabous van der Westhuizen, who attracted legions of female fans when he blazed down the sideline en route to the try zone. But ‘Pretty Cabous’, as Leon Schuster dubbed him, had the likes of Henry Honibal, André Joubert and other gifted players to put him into space.

4. ANDRIES COETZEE
If the fullback wants to show off his curly locks he should at least pass the ball. It’s frustrating watching him run back into traffic seemingly all the time, with the last sight of him the shaggy mullet as he disappears to the bottom of a pile of players.

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