7 Things that need to change in soccer
We all love the beautiful game, so here are some suggestions to make it even better.
1. South Africans should probably try calling it football. That’s its proper name, otherwise it would be the FISA World Cup (Federation of International Soccer Associations). Maybe that’s why we can’t seem to qualify?
2. A prerequisite for all players to qualify for a World Cup would be a training camp at King’s Park for a proper tackling session with rugby players Tendai ‘Beast’ Mtawarira, Akker van der Merwe and André Esterhuizen. They can teach them what it means to fall hard to the ground. Neymar would be first up, followed by Ronaldo and Suarez.
3. Only the captain of the team should be allowed anywhere near the referee, to query decisions or gain clarity. This business of the players crowding the referee is appalling.
If they don’t want to change that then allow the referee to carry a tazer in his pocket. That should sort out the whingeing and whining.
4. On a similar note, the ‘Free Pile Up’ celebration has got to be stopped, banned, eliminated and made extinct. Sure, you’re happy, but really, a good ol’ high five or quick hug should be enough.
To prevent this from happening, seine netters can be employed to cast their nets over such a mob and winch them away from public view.
5. VAR is understandable but perhaps football could learn from cricket and allow two ‘reviews’ for obvious howlers.
6. Extra time is too long. With all the stoppages (and penalty shootout) the winner of the Comrades Marathon might fancy getting from Durban to Pietermaritzburg in less time than it takes to finish things off.
Ten minutes each way is plenty, maybe even five minutes each way would suffice – that could be really exciting.
And they should relook the golden goal rule, where the first to score in extra time wins.
7. Speaking of droning on … television stations should ignore slashing the budget on this at least during a World Cup and employ more than one commentator.
Listening to one guy ramble on for 90 minutes, plus extra time can be as boring as all those back passes.
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