Women’s Month: What are we celebrating?

WE are a little further than halfway through commemorating Women’s Month. But I have to be honest, I have not really been in a celebratory mood. And I find myself feeling this way year after year.

Do not get me wrong. I am not ungrateful, nor am I unaware of the sacrifices that have been made by many women who have lived before me, and the many privileges that I do enjoy because of them.

My aching dread comes from the realisation that there are still a lot of women’s issues that need to be addressed. And sometimes I feel that they never will…

Gender-based violence (GBV) remains the most pressing issue, in my opinion. And so, I won’t really highlight any other issues in this opinion piece.

Just last week, I heard of a friend of a friend who had been severely beaten by her significant other, not once but twice within a matter of days. The panic in my friend’s voice note, cancelling plans so that she could tend to her friend, still haunts me.

Then there are the atrocities happening in the Umhlanga Village, a place I once identified as a fun spot, with happy memories shared with friends. Now, I actively avoid it, fearing for the safety of myself and my female friends.

What’s more, I’ve heard some of the chatter surrounding the incidents, with some people blaming the victims for the way they dressed. In the comment section of a news article on Facebook, one reader expressed more outrage at the alleged ‘excessive drinking’ of some women in the Village. He or she was more shocked that some women could, and I am paraphrasing a little here, ‘drink men under the table’ than the fact that two women’s drinks had been spiked and they were subsequently sexually assaulted.

How are things equal when we have to limit where we go, or we cannot have the same kind of fun our male counterparts can have without expecting any negative consequences? Or are objectified and victim-blamed?

I now find myself feeling constantly conscious of my drink (whether it’s alcohol or not) whenever I go out in public. Do my male friends share this concern, I wonder?

This issue of gender-based violence pops up every year. During my time as a journalist, I witnessed the community outrage ringing out whenever a young woman lost her life, only for the anger to die down after a while. In the end, nothing was really done to address sexism or its monstrous cousin, femicide.

Ministers and presidents condemn these actions and extend their condolences to the family and friends of the victim…and then what?

In many cases, the brutal attacks happened during the course of Women’s Month or even during the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, the annual GBV campaign, which runs in November.

Almost every woman I know has a story of abuse – be it physical, sexual, emotional and/or financial. It’s pervasive. It’s depressing and at times feels demoralising.

There is a reason the #MeToo movement took off like wildfire.

Do I have any solutions, I hear you ask? And my answer is yes. I had briefly addressed this in a previous opinion piece back in 2017 in which I shared similar opinions as this piece.

The actions will take some sacrifice: uncomfortable conversations and putting ourselves at risk of judgement or retribution from others.

However, I believe the only way to truly celebrate Women’s Month, commemorate the women who made sacrifices for us, and in turn, spur change for our future generations, is through sacrifice.