It always concerns me how little empathy, if any, women show each other.
Last week Monday, we woke up to a video of Durban Kwaito star Mampintsa hitting his girlfriend and musician Babes Wodumo.
This was not the first time these two made such headlines.
Of course, social media was abuzz.
What I noticed though was that women were giving themselves reasons not to support Babes.
“Why has she stayed with him all this time?”
“What did she do to provoke him?”
“They will be back together by the end of the day anyway.”
Although these questions may be ‘valid’, I don’t see their relevance in establishing whether the behaviour is acceptable or not.
Shouldn’t our attitudes always point to what is the law, what is good, what is safe for all of us?
I specifically turn to women because I expect them to understand another woman’s plight easier than a man.
With the soaring numbers of violent crimes against women, most of us live in fear.
Even those who are not in abusive relationships could be taken advantage of by strangers.
The possibility of any one of us being a victim is palpable.
So why wouldn’t you feel for someone who falls victim before you do?
Our actions suggest we somehow believe certain people deserve to be treated this way, because of the decisions they make.
It is a shame really.
In my mind, I am already thinking about the next young woman who is looking at our behaviour now.
She had hoped we would rally around Babes (or any other victim) so she can conjure up the guts to get out of a toxic relationship.
But our actions are telling her maybe the pain she endures there is better than the ridicule of the whole nation.
Maybe she can handle the blows of one man compared to a million slashing tongues coming down on her.
I always think “that could be my little sister”, so I care.
Even if she has made stupid decisions that got her here, she does not deserve to be treated this way.
It is not okay.
