MY STORY: Letting go of betrayal

My name is Elaine Wilson* and this is my story.

I grew up in a traditional household, my mother was a homemaker and my father the breadwinner.

That was the life I always wanted until one day, at the age of 15, my world was turned upside down.

My father asked my mother for a divorce so he could marry his mistress he had met in the city.

The news of my father’s betrayal shattered my mother’s heart.

From homemaker to unemployed at the age of 42, we struggled, to say the least.

From that day, I cut off my dad and pushed myself academically to give my mom the life she deserved.

I became an advocate for the ‘men are trash’ campaign and turned down any man who pursued a romantic relationship with me.

So, here I am at the age of 40, and I realise that for the last 25 years, my dad’s betrayal moulded my life.

The first man I ever loved hurt the two people he was supposed to protect.

It is safe to pinpoint him as the driving force behind my success and yes, on paper I have it all: the career, house, cars – but no one to share it with.

My mother passed away five years ago, and part of me believes she lived the last 20 years as the ‘undead’ because she carried his shame.

This year, I have decided to take back my power and forgive my father even though he never asked me to.

I deserve to be happy, and I want to share this life I created with someone.

As much as marriages fail and fall apart, many do work out, so this is me saying yes to life by letting go of my trauma.
* Not her real name

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