GVB survivor lives to tell the tale
The 55-year-old was sexually assaulted when she was seven years old and was physically abused by the father of her child for years.
Duduza – Given the scourge of gender-based violence (GBV) in the country, survivor Mamsi Mashinini Ndlalani refuses to be silenced and hopes her book Revisit the Mirror, detailing the horrific ordeals of her past and journey to healing, will help others.
In light of 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children as set out by the United Nations taking place annually from November 25 (International Day of No Violence against Women) to December 10 (International Human Rights Day), the author, entrepreneur and pastor wished her story will bring light to those affected by this epidemic.
The 55-year-old was sexually assaulted when she was seven years old and was physically abused by the father of her child for years.
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“Today it’s an apology with flowers and chocolates, tomorrow it’s your body in a coffin.
“One slap is enough for you to leave that partner.
“GBV doesn’t only affect the abused but your children, family members and friends as well,” she said.
Ndlalani said her dreadful childhood begun when her mother re-married and an older male relative related to her stepfather would frequently visit her bedroom at night and would force her to massage his penis.
“He would force me to touch and play with his private parts while he masturbated.
“He would tell me not to tell anyone and said we were playing.
“This went on for almost six months until one night my mum caught him.”
When Ndlalani was in high school, there was also an attempt by a teacher to rape her but she managed to get away.
She said for years she lived with anger, hated male figures and never wanted to be a woman.
“Being a girl frightened me so much that I became a tomboy.
“At some point, I joined a karate club so I could learn to protect myself.
“These experiences changed how I thought, my character and how I viewed men,” she said.
During her school years, she met the father of her child who would beat her up, call her names and at times kick her out of their shared home.
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“He would accuse me of cheating on him, call me names and then beat me up.
“I would sleep inside a dustbin with a broken jaw and ribs because I had nowhere to go,” she explained.
When in second year at university, she devoted her life to Christ and got the courage to leave her abuser.
Today she is a successful businesswoman, founder of the Wemandla NPO and Mamosa Educational Institute, and is completing her master’s in business administration.
“Through the NPO, we offer skills development to a woman and assist tertiary drop-outs with going back to school.
“No woman should be forced to stay in an abusive setting because they lack finances or skills,” she stated.
She is also nominated in the Women of the Year Category at the Women’s International Awards.
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