In the spate of sexual assault/abuse that we have been exposed to in recent months we got to understand that many of the perpetrators are known to their victims.
This may be an uncle, stepfather, neighbour or even the pastor who might be close to the family or the victim or a family friend.
They lure their victims by providing for their needs which may include, among others, paying for their educational fees, taking them out to fancy restaurants and even giving them lunch money.
Some even go as far as giving their young victim R2 to buy sweets over a period of time to gain their trust.
This is known as sexual grooming. The perpetrator grooms the victims by befriending them and establishing an emotional relationship with them.
Many of these times the victims are not even aware of the perpetrator’s plans until they are fully indebted to them.
If, like me, you have been following the high profile rape cases which include that of R Kelly, Bill Cosby and the Duduza pastor, Jabu Ndaba to mention but a few.
I was listening to a debate between callers on one of the national radio stations about how the group of young women were sexually violated by the senior pastor of Jesus Dominion International Church, Timothy Omotoso.
The argument was why sane responsible parents would allow their children to pack their bags and leave their homes weeks on end to be in the pastor’s care without properly ensuring their safety.
I mean, from what I understand these girls trusted the pastor with their lives. I mean this is the “man of God” who is believed not to sin but live by the teachings in the Holy book.
Many of these girls were part of the choir and travelled a lot with the pastor to different branches of the church.
I might be wrong but my understanding is that many of the girls were not in school or working.
Being in the church would mean they regularly went on some spiritual retreat to pray for good fortunes.
One should remember, when one is desperate especially when unemployed, they would do anything to turn their luck around which would include pleasing a “man of God” who is said to hold the key to good fortunes.
Also, these girls were recruited and said to be under the care of “women of God” in the church.
I say, let us give parents the benefit of the doubt and not blame them for not protecting their children enough.
What we can do rather is to learn not to trust anyone with our children, speak openly about sex to the young one and stop treating sex as a taboo subject.
This will help us or them to be open up to us should they be forced into a compromising situation by anyone.
