One of Door of Hope’s first adoptees runs for funds for her first home

Grace Ingram was one of the first children adopted from Door of Hope after it opened its doors for the first time.

To honour the organisation and its impact on her life, Grace runs marathons in America to raise funds. She is a voice for every child who was or will be relinquished.

First Adoption

After being born, Grace was relinquished at the hospital and taken in by Door of Hope founder Cheryl Allen before being adopted by her forever family in 2000.

She grew up in a loving family with parents and five siblings and did not have a problem with being adopted until other people had a problem with it.

“My parents were always transparent about my origins and incorporated aspects about Door of Hope, my roots, and my biological family into casual conversations and formal celebrations like birthdays.

“Despite their efforts and love, from a young age, I noticed how people treated my multiracial family, particularly as a black and white family living in SA and a divided and racialised USA.

“Through the wrestling and reckoning of my adoptee journey, simple but profound truths were revealed to me when unpacking my identity and story on the path to acceptance,” said Ingram.

Nadene Grabham, the operations director at Door of Hope, said: “Grace came to Door of Hope on October 20, 1999, and was adopted in April 2000. She was still little when she left us, and like all babies, it was beautiful to see any child from Door of Hope bring the most unexplainable joy.

“Our first intakes when we opened in 1999 are all young adults now. We often wonder what they are up to. When Grace contacted us, we immediately knew she was a caring person. I know her family is proud of her.

“Even though Grace was with us only a few months, we loved and cared for her, and she has a special place in our hearts. We are proud of the kind-hearted, beautiful person she is.

“She has made so much effort to raise funds for us. She was, is and always will be a part of the Door of Hope family,” said Grabham.

Grace the fundraiser

“I chose to raise funds through running marathons and the GivenGain platform because I’m part of a global community. Using GivenGain allows my friends, family and others globally to donate without barriers. I’ve had donations from all over, such as the USA, UK, Switzerland, SA and Kenya,” said Ingram.

Given that it is such a personal fundraiser, she enjoys being able to showcase more than the money raised and the miles she ran.

“I choose to run half marathons, and eventually full marathons, to raise funds because, when I contemplated how I would raise funds for Door of Hope, I looked at their website and saw many past and current fundraising individuals had participated in races.

“The decision to fundraise was not something I took lightly or made overnight. My target goal is ambitious, but given that the cause is so personal, I knew it would require work. I’m proud that Door of Hope is a part of my story. Protecting my story has also been important throughout this fundraising process.”

For Ingram, this has become much more than raising funds and running races. Through it all, she told people about Door of Hope, connected with others in the world of adoptions, told her story, and lamented the unsafe relinquishment of SA’s most vulnerable while celebrating her existence and those safely relinquished.

“I’m proud to be able to give back to the organisation that gave so much to me,” said Ingram.

Her fundraising goal

Her fundraising goal is slightly under $15 000 (R250 000). She chose this amount to honour Door of Hope’s 25th anniversary in July next year. Ingram said one thing that was a gift was that her milestones aligned with the Door of Hope, given that its establishment in the same year she was born, 1999.

She hopes to have raised the full R250 000 by the time they celebrate their 25th anniversary and her 25th birthday next year.

Biggest challenge and loss

The biggest challenge on her journey was confronting the glaring contradiction of what her life could have been and what her life is. This led to feelings of guilt and shame in adolescence and young adulthood.

“We all have stories, and before my adoption, I was a sleeping baby in a children’s home. It prompted me to reflect on the stories of the sleeping babies beside me at the Door of Hope and other children’s institutions and orphanages. Children who weren’t or aren’t safely relinquished and died.

Also, those who were safely relinquished but didn’t get adopted and grew up on the streets or aged out of the system.

“The complexities of international adoption did not allow for my foster brother’s adoption to go through, and he aged out of SA’s system. ‘Losing’ him was a deeply personal grieving process for my family. It was seeing someone you loved, played with, cared for and tucked in have such a glaringly different life from your own.

“But as his adopted foster sister, it was more than that. It was seeing what it meant to be ‘the lucky one’ as opposed to being one of ‘the unlucky ones’. These feelings of guilt and shame presented themselves while seeing fellow adoptees struggle,” explained Ingram.

Much to give

Ingram highlighted, “The first thing was the diversity of friends I’ve made and the community I’ve integrated into. As conversations around adoption take up more space on social media and digital platforms, I’ve met adoptees from all over.

“The second thing has been recognising that I, at 23 years old, have something valuable to give to the younger generations of adoptees. I have served as a summer camp counsellor at international adoptive heritage camps for younger adoptees. We help them to explore aspects of their identities in fun, recreational environments.

“I have contributed to blogs and articles on my adoption experience. Most recently, I contributed to a chapter of a published book written by fellow adult adoptees.”

The plan ahead

“I plan to continue living a purpose-driven life. Professionally, I intend to have a meaningful career in wildlife conservation, working with local communities on the ground.

“I look forward to spending time with my family, visiting SA and Door of Hope soon, and running a marathon after completing this fundraiser,” said the driven young woman.