Getting the best from your child

Here’s how you can encourage your child:

• Expect more. Most people have a way of living up to expectations, preschool children included. At school teachers expect the kids to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang up their jackets and they do. Raise the bar and your child will probably stretch to meet it.
• Resist doing for them what they can do themselves. While it may be quicker and easier to do it yourself, it won’t help to make your child more self-sufficient. Appeal to your child’s sense of pride. When dressing your child ask them “do you want me to help you or can you do it yourself?” Children always want to do it for themselves.
• Don’t redo what they’ve done. If your child makes their bed, resist the urge to smooth the blankets. If they dress themselves in stripes and polka dots, compliment their style. Unless absolutely necessary, don’t fix what your child accomplishes. They will notice and it may discourage them.
• Let them solve simple problems. If you see your child trying to assemble a toy or get a book from a shelf that they can reach if they stand on their stepping stool, pause before racing over to help. Provided that they are safe, those moments when you don’t rush in, when you give children a moment to solve things for themselves, those are the character-building moments. It’s natural to want to make everything perfect, but if we do, we cheat kids of the chance to experience success.
• Assign a chore. Putting your child in charge of a regular, simple task will build her confidence and sense of competency. A child who is entrusted to water the plants or empty the clothes dryer is likely to believe they can also get dressed themselves or pour their own cereal. Just be sure the chore you assign is manageable and that it is real work, not busywork, since even child knows the difference. The goal is to make your child feel like a capable, contributing member of the family.

q Information obtained from www.parents.com