Alateen celebrates 65 years of helping children of alcoholics

“The growth of my daughter over the last three years in Alateen has been incredible. She has become extremely confident and focused on her own stuff, as it should be.”

These are the words of a local • Alateen parent.

“She can stand her ground, not only against her alcoholic mother but in everyday school life. She knows who she is, and what she wants, and isn’t in school trying to impress anybody or trying to be popular. That puts her in the minority of being a well-adjusted child, despite the odds.”

Alateen, part of the Al-Anon Family Groups, is specifically for children ages nine to 17 who are affected by alcoholism in their families, whether active or not.

The Al-Anon Family Groups consist of relatives and friends of problem drinkers who have found that by gathering together, they can better solve common problems which result from living with the disease of alcoholism/addiction.

“Research shows that for every problem drinker, the lives of 16 other people are affected,” said the • public outreach coordinator for Al-Anon Family Groups, South Africa.

This includes everyone in the family, friends, work colleagues, and especially children of all ages.

For young people affected by someone else’s drinking, Alateen provides a safe place to share their own experiences, strength, and hope with each other, and to learn how to apply the principles of the Al-Anon/Alateen programme to their lives. Alateen Group sponsors are special trusted Al-Anon members who have gone through a certification process in their Al-Anon Areas and hold SAPS clearance and give their time to ensure regular meetings.

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Alateen celebrates its 65th South African birthday this year. Several Alateen groups around the country used to meet face to face, but since Covid now meet on Zoom two to three times per week, regardless of location.

Ann Mcgreevy, the supervisor of psychological studies at county public schools in the USA, said: “By attending meetings, young people gain an understanding of the disease of alcoholism and feel the benefits of realising they are not alone.

They learn that they did not cause this problem and that they are not responsible for their relative’s or friend’s drinking or behaviour. By sharing their experiences, they find solutions to their problems and hope for the future.

“And if you have done any reading or studying on adverse childhood experiences, you know that a family member’s addiction is one of the adverse childhood experiences. And so, it’s impacting the child’s brain development.

“It’s impacting the child’s social ability to interact with other children their age. It’s impacting the child’s ability to form meaningful adult relationships. So, it’s impacting the child and adolescents’ functioning across the board.

Alcohol addiction is just as detrimental as any other addiction to a child’s functioning. It can set patterns for lifelong, dysfunctional interactions and relationships.”

All meetings of Alateen have at least two Al-Anon adult sponsors in attendance, and the children mostly run their own meetings by reading Alateen approved literature, sharing their stories and recovery, and discussing topics such as fear and anger, resentment and the issues at home.

All meetings are confidential and secure and follow the Al-Anon 12 steps.

Children know that they can turn to their sponsors for help to report any kind of abuse or other issues to the correct authorities.

• A South African parent said: “Without Alateen, my daughter very well could have woken up at age 30 with a battleground of broken relationships left in her wake. Instead, she has a small number of strong friendships and a larger number of school friends.

“Even in the lockdown, she accepted the things she could not change. She got even stronger and more confident in her abilities and understood what she wants in life. Thank you, Alateen, for the incredible influence you’ve had on my daughter’s life!”

Al-Anon has seen that the earlier family members get help, the less the chance that alcohol abuse will affect their lives. Social workers have indicated that, especially with alcohol abuse in a family, the best way to deal with the effects is via Al-Anon and its different groups.

AMIAS sponsors are in attendance to ensure only that the children have the correct literature, that meetings are conducted following Al-Anon principles and concepts, and that the kids are safe at all times.

It is found that when children are involved in Alateen from an early age, then the transition to adult meetings at the age of 18 has delivered a set of life skills that last a lifetime in both their personal and working lives.

The Al-Anon Family Group organisation consists of three entities – Alateen, Al-Anon Adult Children and Al-Anon Family Groups – with hundreds of groups across the world, including Africa.

As a sister organisation to Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon formed a totally independent and self-supporting structure more than 70 years ago.

• Al-Anon programme’s basic principle is that of anonymity. Meetings are confidential and they do not disclose members’ identities or anything seen or heard at meetings to anyone.

More information is available on www.alanongauteng.co.za, www.alanon.org or by calling the national office on 0861 25 26 66 or BetteK on 082 576 9739.

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