Coach Proxy's journey of faith, identity and resilience
Proxy said her life began with rejection: "on the day I was born, my father abandoned me, and my biological mother later gave me away.”
Pride Month (June) is a celebration of acceptance, visibility, and identity for a lot of people.
It also serves as a reminder of a very personal path characterised by rejection, resiliency, healing, and firm belief for Windmill Park’s Siphosothando Lubanzilwenkosi Ngwenya, also known as Coach Proxy.
The 19-year-old is currently a student of Information Technology, an author, an entrepreneur, and a youth advocate. Siphosothando is also the founder of the NPOs Ngwenya Foundation and Icons of Arts Youth Development, as well as the business ProxyTech Innovations (Pty) Ltd.
However, a story of hardship underpins these accomplishments.
“My life began with rejection,” Siphosothando said. “On the day I was born, my father abandoned me, and my biological mother later gave me away.”
Growing up in foster care had additional difficulties.
Before moving to a new family at the age of 18, Siphosothando claims she lived with physically and emotionally abusive foster parents for more than ten years and this had a significant impact on their early childhood.
Despite these traumatic events, she refused to let trauma dictate her future.
“As difficult as it was, I learned that my circumstances did not have to determine who I would become,” she said.
Siphosothando was aware of her differences from a young age.
Also Read: Pride Month: Local speaks out on coming out as bisexual
She continued to explore her identity throughout high school, having first come out as gay in elementary school. She also remembers being violently reprimanded by a neighbour as a child for wearing high heels.
“That experience affected me deeply. Instead of giving up, I found ways to express myself and to understand who I was.”
A relationship with God
Her conception of identity changed throughout time.
Today her pronouns are she/her and she identifies as transgender, explaining that rather than abrupt change, her journey has been one of self-discovery.
Siphosothando’s experience contradicts the widespread belief that gender identity and faith cannot co-exist, as faith is the one thing that has remained constant in her journey.
“My relationship with God has never changed. No one can take my Christianity away from me.”
“My faith has carried me through every difficult season of my life.”
She credits her present mother, a pastor, with an environment of unconditional love and acceptance.
Instead of driving her away from Christianity, the encouragement strengthened her faith and assisted her in recovering from past rejection.
“My mother showed me that love comes first. She accepted me while encouraging me to continue building my relationship with God.”
In addition to her personal path, Siphosothando has pursued higher education and community leadership.
Also Read: Dawn Park SAPS strengthens community ties at Windmill Park imbizo
Building a meaningful future
Currently pursuing a degree in IT, she supports community development, business, and youth empowerment through her NPOs.
She is also the author of three Christian books: Arise and Shine, Faith is Strongly Working and The Bible Was Used, God Was Not.
The works, which explore resilience, faith, and overcoming challenges, primarily draw on her personal experiences. Instead of concentrating solely on suffering, they inspire readers to find meaning in life’s obstacles.
“My books are about hope,” she said. “I want people to know that no matter where they come from, they can still build a meaningful future.”
Siphosothando continues to assist youth through community projects and inspirational talks in addition to her writing.
Her work aims to inspire young people to pursue education, embrace leadership, and have faith in their own abilities.
“I believe my experiences can inspire others to choose compassion over criticism. My story is not only about being transgender; it is about surviving, healing, finding purpose and trusting God.”
“Resilience is not about acting as though the suffering never occurred. It’s about not letting suffering have the last say.”
“I want people to know that even if life begins with rejection, it can still end with purpose.”
