Property valuations throughout Ekurhuleni will be rolling out from February, which could make homeowners nervous as it determines property rates.

Those appointed to collect data will be wearing specific clothing, with a smart little cap (marked Ekurhuleni metro) and an ID card on which you will find a number to call whether you are uncertain if the person is legit.

Nice touch for official appearances, even though anybody can steal, for example, the cap. It is also done for the purpose of preventing the homeowner from setting the dog loose in attack mode, or from grabbing the ugliest weapon.

Not everyone who arrives at your gate, after all, harbours ominous plans to plunder. Some of them are actually sent on a legitimate mission to earn an honest living, believe it or not.

One can only hope somebody will be stationed on the other side of the phone line because one just gets this funny feeling that a lot of homeowners will be dailing the 999 number to clarify a person’s credentials.

Let us be honest, the metro’s 999 number simply does not get answered. The reason remains a mystery, just as to why one sock always goes missing, as if all socks are permanently engaged in divorce battles.

Following the valuation process, the metro assures its lovely residents that there’s ample time to object. The word ‘object’ reminds one of the countless scenes on television of courtroom dramas, where a lawyer will jump up and shout ‘I object!’

At times, you wonder if to shout “I object” holds some sort of spiritual power because it seems rather euphoric or liberating, or empowering, as if you master the ability to stop time.

A number of residents will probably jump up from their couches and scream “I object” when viewing their property valuation.

There will, however, be no judge, probably just the cat or a dog that is still pondering chasing the valuer.

In the court of law, an objection is a statement made by an attorney during a case for the purpose of questioning or challenging any specific evidence. So when residents are called to object, then they will be challenging the evidence gathered by the valuer. Good luck on that mission because it is like handing Eskom R5 and hoping the lights will stay on.

Life in South Africa will indeed be great if objections actually work. We go to the polls to object the rule of governance, but of course such objections have been sustained.

How about we object to the construction work being done to repair the damaged portion of the Boksburg Library ceiling, which has been delayed, and will cost around R1 454 044.

Really? You can build a house for that valuation, and how long does it take to fix a room (apparently more than a year). Grief, shopping malls are built in much shorter time.

Or how about we object to the metro’s failure to maintain the City’s parks and general environment for more than a month as they are still catching up with the backlog.

There is indeed a lot we can object to, including every state-owned enterprise (how difficult is it to operate a national airline?), the state of the roads, e-tolls, raising VAT to 15 per cent or the dreaded load-shedding.

Yes, we live in a democracy and we have the wonderful right to object as part of our human rights, but let us be honest, those in the seat of power simply smile, nod and turn a deaf ear.

On that note, good luck with the property valuations. Hopefully, nobody gets injured.

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