Virgo (24 August – 22 September)
May you laugh till your head explodes, Virg! Time to have some fun! This is your birthday month and, since it only comes once a year, make it worthwhile. If you can organize a party or a get-together of some description, make it loud, long, and intensely enjoyable for all. You might just end up making eye contact with someone unusual and interesting. Why not? Give it a try, come ooon …
Libra (23 September – 22 October)
Can you open your mind without it falling out? You need to be looking for The One, not just Any One. Stop being desperate – Mr/Ms Right will appear at the right time, and you will be astonished that you overlooked this person in the first place. Perfection in your life is the Big Thing (why, oh why?), and unfortunately, you apply this to people as well. No such thing as a PP. Get it?
Scorpio (23 October – 21 November)
Did you ever stop to think … and forget to start again? What are we asking? This is SCORP, nit-picking, exact, ready to fight about a missed full-stop in the contract, whatever it is. (YAWN!) Rather get on with what really matters – you need to tie up that property deal at a speed and get moving to the new phase of your life that is holding its breath waiting for you. How…much…longer…?
Sagittarius (22 November – 21 December)
Can you open your mind without it falling out? This is where you have to make difficult choices about your future, immediate and long-term. Going with the flow is all fine and well, but sooner or later you have to stand up for yourself, good and proper. Those men in the white coats are approaching at a speed, so decide on how to run with your job, or disappear with Them into the distance.
Capricorn (22 December – 19 January)
My Fabulous Brain has a mind of its OWN! Give it up Cap, you’re fooling no-one, least of all yourself. Stop trying to be the Hero, when in actual fact, your socks are falling down round your ankles. Pull ‘em up and get on with it. There are life decisions that are up to you, and up to you ONLY, so make them and stick with them. Lovelife is a mess, let’s not go there for now, shall we?
Aquarius (20 January – 18 February)
Don’t anybody move … I just lost my mind! News for you – you never had one to start with! The money decisions you make are breath-taking – breath-takingly stupid! Sit down and think before you get yourself into any further messes. You could make a fortune AND win the heart of the Loved One at the same time if you PLAAAN…Talk to someone with brains. (NOT another Aqua!)
Pisces (19 February – 20 March)
Learn to live on the bright side – there’s less traffic. Stop peering through the window at the passing world, and maybe try and become part of it, for a change. You think you know everything, which makes life sooo boring, but you would be surprised at what you DON’T know. This includes how to treat people and what they really think of you. Got the guts to find out? Go for it at a swim, P!
Aries (21 March – 19 April)
I’m a very modest person – and DAMN proud of it! We know, dear Aries, we know. Can’t you hear the hilarity in the Universe? Probably not, you’re too busy listening to yourself. It’s time you found out about how other people think, you may learn something intensely interesting about how to handle that job that you’re usually so good at. You need a revamp – talk to someone in the know.
Taurus (20 April – 20 May)
Be spontaneous, Taurus – COMBUST! You’re trying to nuke everybody in sight at the moment – what’s the matter with you? Get your finances sorted out at a trot and then at last, you can stop trying to stomp on everyone in sight. You are so good with money, what’s the problem? If you made a mistake by overspending, there are always ways to make it right. Have some patience …
Gemini (21 May – 20 June)
Beware the shadows, for they are … AARGH! Yep G, open those eyes of yours when it comes to the famous Job Situation. Try, just for once, to get both sides of the brain in the same place at the same time. You may be offered a huge money-making opportunity, and the sooner you tackle it, the better. Put your pride in your pocket and accept help from others (ones with…um… brains).
Cancer (21 June – 22 July)
A little greed can get you lots of stuff, so carry on the way you have been going at work, and the lots of stuff can become HUGE PILES of stuff. You’ve dragged yourself out of the doldrums, displaying huge courage at tackling that mountain. Now keep going. Family matters may take up some of your time shortly; stay away from sharp objects, and try and NEGOTIATE for a change.
Leo (23 July – 23 August)
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day, so how about you calm down and look at things from a different perspective? If your famous jealousy of someone is threatening to take over, take a fast step back before you end up saying things that you can’t erase. Rather recognize your own abilities and don’t try to Be Someone Else. This applies especially to LOVE. Give it some THOUGHT!!
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