Awkward conversations you should have with your financial adviser

Imagine meeting a prospective partner for a coffee and within 10 minutes of your first date, divulging how much money you make in a year, what you owe your creditors and how much you really spend a month on retail therapy and flat white coffees that your monthly budget does not provide for.

While it seems like an ill-advised overshare, it is definitely the right thing to do if the other person is your financial adviser, Johan Werth, financial adviser and franchise principal at Consult by Momentum, says.

Last year, an international survey found that 44% of people think money is more taboo to talk about than politics, religion or even weight, while according to the Momentum Consumer Financial Vulnerability Index, more than seven in 10 South Africans say simply thinking about their money triggers negative emotions.

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Awkward money conversations often avoided

“It is therefore little wonder that ‘awkward money convos’ are so often avoided, even with the professionals we talk to to help us with our finances. Often, new clients are extremely uncomfortable opening up about simple financial truths such as how much they earn, what they owe and how much they spend, while they struggle to share their full picture when having these conversations.”

But having difficult money conversations actually moves us closer to our financial goals and dreams, Werth says. “The more clarity we have as financial advisors, the better we can work with you to co-create a financial plan designed around your needs, priorities and circumstances.

“We have seen that over time, as we build a rapport and establish a relationship with our clients, we become a trusted confidant, partnering with our clients through every milestone, promotions, career changes, marriage, children, retirement and even loss.”

While it can be difficult to be transparent about the real state of your finances, Werth says that this is critical to enable your adviser to best support and guide you.

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He shares these awkward money conversations that every person should have with their financial adviser:

How much money you really make

It might feel uncomfortable to say out loud, especially if you always kept how much you earn private, but your financial adviser can only build a strategy around what you share, Werth says.

“Being upfront about your earnings, including any bonuses, side hustles or commission structures, allows them to identify opportunities to grow your wealth more effectively. Without full transparency, your plan may rest on guesswork and assumptions, not fact.”

Your debt position

Talking about debt often triggers shame, but it is one of the most important discussions to have. Whether it is credit cards, car finance, or an overdraft that is quietly creeping higher each month, your adviser is not there to judge but to help you prioritise repayments and free up cash flow.

“Honesty will enable your adviser to balance your short-term relief with long-term goals, ensuring you are not just paying off debt, but moving closer to your financial goals.”

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Your spending habits

Many of us underestimate our monthly spending habits, Werth points out, conveniently “forgetting” about streaming subscriptions or take-away coffees that quietly add up.

“By breaking down your actual expenses with your adviser, you can identify shortfalls in your budget and find effective ways to save and increase your disposable income. They can also help you set up systems that make your money work harder, such as automatic transfers to savings or investments. Financial planning works best when it reflects real life, not ideal habits.”

Your financial fears or emotional triggers

Money is more emotional than logical. Maybe you fear losing everything because you watched your parents struggle, or perhaps you overspend to reward yourself after stress. Werth says sharing these truths helps your adviser understand why you make certain financial choices.

“With this insight, they can design a plan that supports both your financial goals and your peace of mind. Acknowledging money anxiety is not weakness but self-awareness and it can change your entire relationship with wealth.”

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What your spouse, partner or family does not know

Secret credit cards, hidden savings, or differing money goals between spouses and partners are more common than people would like to admit, Werth says.

“But secrecy breeds stress … and risk. Your adviser needs a full picture to protect your household’s financial wellbeing. Discussing shared finances, joint assets or family expectations ensures that your strategy accounts for everyone’s interests. Transparency helps avoid nasty surprises later and will open healthier conversations at home about money, trust and long-term planning.”