Never before have I been so happy to get a prediction wrong: Russia have beaten Spain on penalties after it was 1-1 after 120 minutes that felt like six hours.
What was the Spanish Imposition – they played more than 1000 passes in full control – will now certainly become another Spanish Inquisition.
Other than the excitement of the shoot-out, this was far and away the most boring game of the tournament.
Between Spain’s fancy pants, go nowhere, side-to-side passing and Russia’s ultra-defensive, crowd the box set-up, this was terrible to watch.
I mean, when the crowd at a Last 16 knockout match starts a Mexican wave, you just know it’s too dreary to look at.
Russia prayed for, and played, for a penalty shoot-out, their only real hope of getting through.
Seeded 60 places higher than Russia on the FIFA rankings, Spain were always odds-on favourites to go through to the quarter finals.
They were well on their way in the 11th minute when Russian captain Sergei Ignashevich decided to rugby tackle Sergio Ramos rather than attempt to clear the ball, which struck his leg and trickled in – serves him right (1-0).
Rather than press home their advantage, Spain chose the boring route, each round of inter-passing ending where it started – getting nowhere, like someone in the gym on an exercise bicycle.
Russia had surrendered the midfield but in a rare attack, Gerard Pique handled in the box from a corner and a grateful Artem Dzyuba nearly burst the back of the net with his spot kick (1-1).
Still, Spain clearly had them on the ropes but chose to hold back the killer punch.
The game had needed that goal to liven it …but it didn’t.
Spain continued the go nowhere route and only when they awoke Iniesta from his siesta – inexplicably they had started him on the bench – did they look remotely like attacking.
And soon the sideways style resumed; it was death by passing – just why people throw things at TV sets.
Even the extra time was boring. And Russia on their part did nothing to enliven the situation.
But they had worked their plan perfectly, knowing the lottery that is the penalty shootout.
They held their nerve, winning 5-3 from the spot, to the joy of the nation.
Not to mention putting millions more viewers like me out of the potential horror of having to watch Spain again in the next round.
