Real men don’t abuse their loved ones: Shai.
"Abuse can take away an opportunity for your child to have a father because abuse can cause divorce and end up destroying families."
Patrick Shai spoke openly about his abusive and violent past.
The famous actor, film producer and playwright who used to play Dineo’s father in Generations and Bra Tiger in Zone 14 spoke to hundreds of men who came to celebrate Men’s Month on Thursday, October 13 at the Birchwood Hotel. He encouraged men to speak out about abuse and told them never to abuse their loved ones.
According to Shai, the silence of men is more deadly than men who are killed in wars. “Men who keep quite about abuse end up like Adam. Because Adam kept quite, he ended up being chased away from Eden for the mistakes of another person (woman).
“A man is defined by his ability to take care of and protect his family.
“There was a time in my life where I was very abusive towards my wife. That violent nature created some damage in such a way that it is difficult to celebrate some of my achievements today,” Shai said.
Shai went on to say that abuse does not only affect the victims. “Your children who are watching become the secondary victims of that violence.
“Abuse can take away an opportunity for your child to have a father because abuse can cause divorce and end up destroying families.”
Shai slammed the fact that men prefer to keep quiet and run to shebeens to drink alcohol instead of talking about the problems they are having. “It is totally wrong because it is a reason why men end up doing wrong things such as abusing their partners,” Shai said.
Shai told people how he defeated his violent behaviour. “I asked myself what kind of page my children would read about me when I pass away. What kind of parents I would like my children to be. Because I did not want my son to be an abusive father like me and my daughter to be a victim of abuse just like her mother, I personally decided to sit down and talk to my wife. Today my wife and I are good partners; we work well with each other. And we have achieved a lot of things by working together. But the sad part about my achievements is that I can’t celebrate them because of the regrets I have.”
