Dream customer and Big-boy

It’s at this time of the year that I realise I am anyone’s dream customer!

Yes, folks, that’s me, your number one customer. Most certainly not because of my spending capacity –far from it. No, Sir! I’m one of those people who have been blessed with way too much month left at the end of my money, but let’s not go there.

I’m talking about the behaviour one displays as a customer in any place of business.

It’s obvious that the shops will become busier and busier at this time of the year when some lucky people start receiving their bonus pay checks, but again let’s not go there.

When the shops get busier, there are fewer parking spaces available at any given time and obviously more people inside the shops and malls.
This means less space to move about in and longer queues at the pay points.

This is where I classify myself as a dream customer.

I don’t hoot or swear at the old lady or inconsiderate Big-Boy who steals a parking spot from under my bumper. I don’t go pushing the supermarket trolley into the Achilles tendons of some dopey person ambling aimlessly in front of me in the aisles. I also don’t cause a scene if a particular product has been sold out; my brain tells me the demand was high and other people were there before me.

Then, when I get to the queue at the check-out point, I don’t rant and rave or pass snide remarks at the “unacceptable pace” at which the check-out staff members are working at the end of a busy working day, because my brain tells me that they are not machines that do not get tired.

If I am pressed for time and the queue is too long, I don’t slide my basket of goods along the floor, as if I were at a ten-pin bowling alley and storm out, cussing and swearing at everyone. No, I go back and place the goods on the shelves where they belong and leave quietly, so that no-one will notice that I got up on the wrong side of the bed that day.

When I get to my car, I don’t slam the door shut and spin the tyres in an effort to break 0 to 60 in five seconds in the limited space of the parking lot. I’m afraid of running over the old lady who stole my parking spot.

Oh, wow! We’re only at the beginning of November! I can’t wait to experience the difficult shoppers in the last few days before Christmas.
And please, Big-boy, if I stand smiling, please don’t thump me one.

I’m not laughing at you; It’s just my smug smile for being a dream customer.

Gerald