LETTER: Absent fathers affect children negatively
'Absent Fathers: A generational curse? has seven chapters and a must read, especially by men' – resident.
• Thabile Mange writes:
My sixth book is titled Absent Fathers: A generational curse? While the phenomenon is international, the context is South African. I subscribe to the notion “charity begins at home”. However, international experiences are also used to drive the point home.
What motivated me to write this book, you may ask? According to research, in SA, there are 2,13 million children who are living without their fathers. Black kids lead the pack. Sad.
What does the above mean? South Africa is a fatherless nation. Yet there is not much attention paid to this scourge. I’m referring to government, business, media, church and NGOs. This is what motivated me to write this book.
Absent fatherhood impacts children negatively. The effects of this challenge are: poor performance at school, identity crisis, anger, trust issues and depression, among others.
On the flip side, children who are raised in the presence of a father have confidence and self esteem. Not only that, they also make an impact in the world. Of course, this is a general statement.
Do you remember the Williams sisters, Serena and Venus? They are tennis stars. They were once number one (Serena) and two (Venus) in the world. This is unprecedented.
Guess who coached them? Their dotting father. He identified their talent and nurtured it from an early age. This is not about sports only but the impact that the presence of a father has on children. Not long ago, Serena retired from the game. She received accolades from all over the world. Beautiful messages were sent to her. Thanks to her dad.
It must be said that some victims of absent fatherhood turned out OK. The first black US president Barack Obama was a victim, but he became a leader of the most powerful country in the world.
The above shows that you don’t choose to be a victim but you can choose how to respond to your victimhood. Obama chose to be a victor. This should encourage victims to choose the same route.
The truth is: people don’t have the same threshold. So, absent fatherhood destroy many of its victims. They carry their scars to adulthood. This is not healthy, neither ideal. They need help and support from all stakeholders.
The book has seven chapters, and is a quick read. It is written in simple and plain English. It is also apt, timely and relevant. Most importantly, it is a must-read, especially by men.
