I’m writing this in response to Mr Thabile Mange’s letter Who speaks for victims of men abuse? in the News dated 21 August 2020.

I am a 25-year-old woman and your timing is as you thought: “Not perfect, given that it is Women’s Month”. I agree with all the women who are angry with you. I am livid. Your timing is way off.

GBV refers mainly to women abuse. Why? Men don’t get this, so let me make this easy with a question. 

Have you ever … 

• … when you were out, had to cross the street when you see women in groups coming in your direction because you are scared they would kidnap you, rape you then kill you?

• … not been able to dress nicely for yourself, because it would attract a women’s attention and lead to you getting raped (it would be your clothes’ fault)? 

• constantly had to deal with unwanted attention from women, who have to comment on you as you walk past (which could lead to physical assault, rape and death)?

• been aware that you will always be inferior to a woman, simply because you are a man? (We get taught this from childhood, in today’s age still.)

The list goes on and trust me, there are so many more. You would never want to deal with men again when you see what we as women and girls have to deal with. 

My point with this letter is to make you aware that unfortunately for men, the women’s issue is more important right now. 

You say that the abused men “are dying inside” because of the abuse.

Try actual death. 

Men don’t have to worry about their partner or a random woman killing them because they are men.

Women and girls do. 

Let that sink in.