Does love have an age limit? People who find a soulmate later in life, or open their hearts to someone new after losing a spouse of many years, show that it does not.

Take Mel Boswell and Lorraine Cooper of Mbombela. They fell in love, said ‘I do’ in their 70s, and are now living life to the full as a happy, active couple. Their story is one of many showing that love can blossom at any stage of life.

Why does love remain so important in later years? Counsellor Stephen Holgate, the founder of Edenvale’s Renewed Living, explains: “Human beings are inherently relational. Our need to love and belong does not disappear with age.

“Meaningful relationships become more important as people face retirement, declining health, bereavement and changing family circumstances. A caring companion offers emotional support and shared purpose.”

What will people say? What will my children think?

Despite this, Holgate says many older adults hesitate to pursue a new relationship. Some fear they are betraying a deceased spouse, while others are hesitant because they have grown comfortable with independence or fear experiencing another painful loss.

But, he says, finding happiness again does not diminish the love shared in a previous marriage. “Love is not a limited resource,” he adds.

Holgate says adult children may struggle when a parent begins a new chapter with someone else. Concerns about inheritance, vulnerability to exploitation or simply seeing someone else occupy a parent’s life can create tension. “Often, these reactions are rooted in love and protectiveness, even when expressed as resistance. Honest, respectful conversations help families distinguish genuine concerns from fears rooted in change,” he says.

“Growing older changes many things, but it does not change our need for meaningful relationships, companionship and hope.”

Living well in later life

Connection is only one part of living well as we age. Staying healthy, active, and independent can help older people make the most of this stage of life, whether they share it with a partner, enjoy time with family and friends or embrace life on their own.

Dr Susan Coetzer, a Johannesburg-based geriatrician, and Gert Coetzee, CEO of Rand Aid Association, share some practical advice for ageing well.

Coetzer’s tips

• Aim for a balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and enough protein for healthy muscles.
• Get a good night’s rest most nights – but avoid sleeping tablets.
• As we age, medicines can carry greater risks, especially when taking several at once. Review your medications regularly with your doctor.
• Ensure you have a regular check-up with your healthcare provider to catch conditions before they catch you.
• Get your flu vaccine every year.

Coetzee’s advice

• Routine: Retirement is not a perpetual holiday. Stick to a routine with a wake-up time and a plan for the day. Daily activities should give you a reason to get up and dressed every morning.
• Activities: Challenge yourself both physically and cognitively. As we age, the adage ‘use it or lose it’ becomes increasingly relevant.
• Socialising: Few people consciously choose to become a recluse. I have never heard someone say, “From Monday at 08:00, I am going to become a hermit.” It usually happens gradually. Before you know it, you may become isolated, with only the TV or radio for company, which can contribute to cognitive decline.
• Sustenance: As we grow older and become less active, our appetite often decreases. Other factors, such as continence issues, can also affect how much we eat and drink. However, maintaining good health requires enough fluids and a balanced diet. An occasional sandwich is fine, but relying on small snacks alone may not provide everything your body needs. If your appetite has declined and a full plate of food no longer appeals, consider supplements or meal replacements.
• Independence: We all want to remain independent for as long as possible, and needing help can feel like admitting that we need support. The secret is to understand your limitations and not hesitate to ask for assistance. It is always better to get help and get something done than to struggle alone.

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