We are reminded of the importance of wills and trusts for our beneficiaries.
The funds of those who provide for us often become a source of conflict after their deaths.
Family members can turn against each other. The unspoken hatred destroys family unions. Battles for estates are the cause of many broken families.
There is a Sotho hymn, loosely recited when the riches of estates come into play: “lefu la hao la mphidisa”, directly translated as, “your death has given me sustenance.”
Families, over the years, have coyly smiled at each other, just enough to reach the milestone of burials, and thereafter, literally at each other’s throats over the legacies left behind by gogo.
Uncles claim their right to inheritance based simply on their gender. Aunts remind wives that marriage does not extend to the homes of their mothers-in-law. Cousins become enemies, and wars are waged between siblings. Death ends all kinds of familial bonds.
The estate dispute that has visited the home of former deputy president David Mabuza is a stark reminder of the turmoil that outlives our natural lives.
When we are laid to rest, those who claim to mourn us in unison are left not only to absorb our deaths but, in their own way, are expected to respect our dying wishes.
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The importance of wills
A will is that—a dying wish. What I wish for may not be fair to those I leave behind. Imagine my children at war as heirs in their mother’s estate. The thought leaves me cold, yet this is the everyday reality.
The wars that are declared are not only by the haves, but even by the have-nots. These are fights for financial emancipation in whatever way one may consider important.
Over the years, repeatedly, we are reminded of the importance of being self-sufficient. We are reminded of the importance of wills and trusts for our beneficiaries.
Yet, as a society, we take this lightly. We assume that our wishes will supersede greed, that the love we believe was owed to us will be of greater value than the rands and cents that keep food on the table, roofs over heads, and us on par with the lifestyles we had become accustomed to.
We want to believe that our memory alone is enough to implore those we leave behind to honour our wishes. But death, in its certainties, surely brings true characteristics to light.
It is a survival of the fittest, in most cases, and court processes tug at the emotions.
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