Uncle Ben’s Den offers dignity to the abandoned and vulnerable

Mother’s Day was like any other day for the forgotten residents at Uncle Ben’s Den in Daspoort, where over 152 elderly and mentally challenged people live.

“Not a single child or family member pitched up for Mother’s Day,” said Ronel van Dyk, whose mother established Uncle Ben’s Den in 1990.

On Sunday, Van Dyk bought 80 lavender roses, printed out a poem and got a donation of Tinkies sweets from a local DA councillor to give to female residents.

Relatives don’t visit the old people

“My mother saw there was a need for elderly housing and care. My father built this old-age home in 1975. We grew up in these houses and after we moved out as kids, my mother had an empty nest and started taking in people. The first was my auntie’s mother,” she said.

Van Dyk said after she returned from working in Australia for three years as a caregiver in 2012, she realised her calling of taking care of the forgotten.

Van Dyk said relatives didn’t even come to visit the old people.

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“In this type of job, you see there are elderly people who weren’t nice and you also see elderly people who do not have nice children,” she said.

It hasn’t been an easy few years for Uncle Ben’s Den. There was a march by the EFF and there is massive scrutiny on social media platform TikTok.

Van Dyk has seen it all – from violent residents with Alzheimer’s disease, difficult families, the EFF toyi-toying at its gates to power cuts by the municipality.

Tough few years for Uncle Ben’s Den

“We started struggling during Covid. The people who live here are less privileged and from low-income households. While some pay, many cannot afford to live here. So those who pay carry those who can’t,” she said.

Van Dyk said like many other non-profit organisations, they also don’t get government funding and carry the burden of bonds for the properties, food, cleaning and toiletry supplies themselves.

“To get funding from social development, I have to rezone my properties, but just that will cost me R25 000 and we have six properties. We have 35 staff and the salaries add up to R185 000. The nappies per week cost R6 800,” she said.

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Van Dyk said giving up wasn’t an option because caring for the elderly was a calling.

“You have to have a different type of heart to do this job. These are my people and if I do not take care of them, where will they go if we close Uncle Ben’s Den’s doors?

“God said we should take care of the widows, the poor and orphans and that’s what we do.”

Giving up not an option

“Where will the 45-year-old Corrie, whose father raped her as a child while her mother watched, go? In her mind, she is 12 and she says her father still won’t leave her alone. Where will she go? Where will Johnny, who is 40 with the mind of an eight-yearold, go without parents?”

Van Dyk says every morning Johnny comes to her office to ask for R10 tuck shop money.

“He still plays with toy cars. Where will he go?” she asked.

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Van Dyk said everyone received tuck shop money, except those who smoked, because she supplies cigarettes.

“We have a granny who takes off her nappy and another who believes she’s pregnant with twins,” she said.

“People criticised me, my weight, my tattoos and what I wear, but my faith keeps me going. They say I am fat,” she said.

God carries the Den

“I gave it to God and asked that he carry me. God carries Uncle Ben’s Den, me, my workers, I do God’s work,” she said.

Van Dyk said for many, Uncle Ben’s Den was the last hope, otherwise they might have ended up on the street or worse.

Ria Benson has been living with her son Hannes and granddaughter Amicia Murray at Uncle Ben’s Den for five years.

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“I was the cook for four years, but they put me on pension, now I only cook on weekends.”

Benson said she was happy and her granddaughter thrived despite living with elderly people. Murray said her grandmother’s mac and cheese was the favourite among the residents.

“She makes the best melkkos,” she said.

Murray makes best melkkos

Murray loves reading to the elderly and helping them with their nails.

Cecilia Marope Motabo has been working at Uncle Ben’s Den since 2017 and describes it as her second family.

“I see how lonely the residents are and how they miss their loved ones. No-one comes to visit them, that’s sad, but I love this place.

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“I love taking care of the old people and miss them when I am at home. It’s better being here with them than being at home,” she said.

Motabo said it was sad because these people just needed love.