EFF makes waves
"You can just dial in any wave you want, even specify the break left or right, and away it goes," said Bungly.
A brilliant invention to guarantee perfect waves for the Ballito Pro surf competition is to be unveiled this week.
A wave machine that can produce perfect waves of any size has been invented by North Coast scientist, Professor Seezthe mCumin, and will be installed during April.
Contest organiser Collette Bungly told the Courier that the wave machine – the Electromagnetic Frission Former – had been tested in Hazelmere Dam and produced perfect surfing waves of any size, from one to four metres.
“You can just dial in any wave you want, even specify the break left or right, and away it goes,” said Bungly.
The Electromagnetic Frission Former, or EFF for short, is about the size of an oil rig. It will be towed into position off Willard Beach this Friday, so that local surfers can practise well ahead of the competition in July.
However, a small drawback is that it is apparently quite noisy.
Bungly said the sound – and the wind – would be like standing behind an Airbus 380 on takeoff from King Shaka airport.
“Because of this, the municipality will be issuing ear mufflers to all residents of the beachfront complexes. Anyone wearing a wig will have to glue it on as well.” Professor mCumin’s EFF machine is, however, going to cost the municipality well over R300 million.
“We think this is money well spent. Durban is spending millions on international musicians, like Nicki “Who’s a Ho?” Minaj to boost their tourism, so we will be getting all the surfers from around the world,” said Bungly. The money will be recovered from ratepayers. The deduction will appear on your monthly rates account as “EFF Off”.
Another small drawback of the EFF machine is that all shark nets will have to be lifted from Ballito beaches from April to August. So swimming without a surfboard will be banned. But Ballito surfing expert Jono Hugashark says this can be turned into a huge win.
“There is another potential attraction here,” said Hugashark. “We have found that sharks enjoy the wave motion and have even been joining in surfing the waves, just like dolphins do sometimes. “Imagine being able to boast that you have shared a wave with a Great White or a Zambesi shark! We think this is a huge drawcard!”
Ballito residents are invited to attend the launch of the EFF machine at Willard Beach at midday this Friday, April 1. They can see some of the first wave rides and also receive their free ear mufflers from Mayor Richman Mtaxiboss.
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