A letter of encouragement to fathers

Dear fathers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

You have been tasked with raising a child with one of the most severe and complicated neurological disorders.

This is a difficult challenge and requires all hands on deck, especially for those fathers who often remain in denial of the diagnosis and are not as involved in the treatment and education processes as they should be.

Spend quality time with your child. Please support your partner in all aspects of raising your special child.

Hats off to those dads who are doing a sterling job.

Statistically, there is a high rate of divorce among families dealing with autism.

I strongly advise that couples seek counselling to resolve conflicts, as separation or divorce often complicates the treatment programme of a child with autism.

Fathers must be open to therapy and/or medical intervention for themselves, as it will help restore their mental health, whether it is stress, depression, anxiety or anger management.

Always bear in mind that your child with autism is not naughty or disobedient. Their behaviour is beyond their control and part of the neurological disorder.

Therefore, embrace your child with love, patience and understanding. Support them through their meltdowns to help them maintain their dignity.

Corporal punishment has never proven to achieve any success in children with autism. Please do not hit your child! Parents should rather learn techniques from therapists on how to manage difficult situations.

As a father of a child with ASD, I have also had to take all the advice as suggested above.

My wife Nirasha, a psychologist, played a pivotal role in developing innovative therapeutic methods for children with autism.

Our family has been blessed with her wisdom and loving philosophy which balanced out the medical model perspective that came naturally to me as a medical practitioner.

Our support group Connect now freely gives support to other families.

I’m proud of my daughter Milan, a health professional in the field who has also taken the baton in respect of autism treatment and interventions.

My autistic son Mikhail, who turns 21 this year, is a hero, and while we may still face challenges on this journey, we can face them together as a family.

So dear dads, we are not perfect, but we must be willing to learn, change, sacrifice and give everything we have to help raise our children with autism – together with our families.

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