Alcohol has ruined many lives. It can cloud judgement and turn moments of anger or despair into lifelong regrets.

No one knows this better than John Ndlanzi, a man who spent over 25 years behind bars for a crime he committed while drunk.

One fateful night in Amaoti, Durban, he pulled the trigger and took the lives of three family members, including a child. Now a free man, he carries the unbearable weight of his past.

Speaking at a recent men’s dialogue at the Tongaat Town Hall, he broke down in tears, warning others about the dangers of alcohol abuse.

“I shot a child by mistake. As for the husband and wife, I thought I was covering my tracks, but in reality, I was making things worse,” said Ndlanzi.

While in prison, he met thousands of inmates, the majority of whom were not sober when they committed their crimes.

“Alcohol solves nothing, guys. If I had been sober that day, I would have handled things differently,” he said.

The dialogue was hosted by the newly formed No Women Abuse Organisation (NWAO), aimed at educating men on avoiding abusive situations while providing a platform for them to share their struggles and explore solutions.

NWAO chairperson Sphiwe Mabaso highlighted the silent suffering of many men, stating that they feel like “walking corpses” due to the abuse they endure at home. He emphasised that reporting such abuse is often seen as pointless, as many believe the justice system favours women over men.

“Today, we are here to say that as men, it is okay to walk away. Instead of killing your wife or girlfriend, walk away, my brothers. No matter what she does, the killing of women is never acceptable. Let us all do our part to stop the killing of women and children,” said Mabaso.

Captain Nhlaliyenza Mahlobo of Glendale Police Station, who leads Men for Change within Saps, urged men to take responsibility for their choices.

“It starts with you as a man. You approach a girl at a tavern but don’t like women who drink – how will you change her? If you don’t want a drinking partner, find someone sober. If she doesn’t respect you, leave. There is no need to force respect by hitting her,” said Mahlobo.

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