Two Bits – 13 June 2014

The winter waves have been scouring away the sand brought ashore by the gentler summer waves and changing the profile of some beaches. Sand had been drifting nicely north of Chakas Rock tidal pool until a few weeks ago, but now the black rocks and bases of the old fishing piers are exposed again.

There was a stainless steel bracket affixed to the rocks that has been snarling fishing lines of the unwary for 50 years or more, just out of reach of wandering angle grinders. I’ve wondered over the years how long it would last. With the rocks sitting so high out of the water, just in the last week it disappeared and now no doubt is in a scrapyard somewhere. Pity, that. It was the favourite perch of a Giant Kingfisher as it surveyed the pools below.

Speaking of change, the Ballito Junction shopping centre is in the process of being sold by Absa to the Flanagan and Gerard property group. F&G have a portfolio of regional malls and niche community centres in Gauteng and Mpumalanga. The regional malls include Vaal Mall, Highveld Mall, Mall of the North and Middelburg Mall and community shopping centres in Vanderbijlpark, Bryanston and Bedfordview.

Pat Flanagan has been responsible for the development of many of the country’s largest property investments, being Riverside Mall, Nelspruit; Lakeside Mall, Benoni; Somerset Mall, Somerset West; Southgate, Johannesburg; Northgate, Randburg; the Boardwalk, Richards Bay; Bhunu Mall, Manzini; Quaggasentrum, Pretoria West and Hatfield Plaza, Hatfield.

Flanagan, together with Peter Gerard were the founders of RMS Syfrets in 1979, which later became Colliers RMS. Their initial partners in the company were the Nedbank group, followed by Johnnic in 1995, before selling the company in 1999. Flanagan was the first president of the South African Council of Shopping Centres.

I understand that planning permission is in place to expand the Junction to 72 000 square metres of retail space. That would be massive – about twice the size of the Lifestyle centre across the road and surely much too much for the Dolphin Coast at its present size. I’m sure we’ll hear the new owners’ plans once the sale is finalised, but sense would suggest that they won’t be expanding to that extent for a few years yet. Wouldn’t be surprised, though, if Game and Checkers didn’t jump at moving out of the Ballito Bay mall if the opportunity arose.

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Paid a visit at the weekend to Crawford to watch the high school play ‘Curtain Up’, about the rehearsals and backstage goings-on in preparing for an amateur dramatic production. It recalled the many hours of fun we had with the Ballito amateur dramatic society, Ballads. Rehearsals gave us as much enjoyment, if not more, than the actual shows.

Crawford and its predecessor, Uthongathi, has produced quite a few entertainers, notably Ben Vos and Guy Buttery, and there might be another crop of comedic actors in the wings if this play is anything to go by.

Line of the night has to be an interchange between two dumb cheerleader types in sweatbands and leotards, when he clumsily lunges across the restaurant table to grab her hand. She says, sweetly: ‘You are such a Roman. Tick!’ (you have to say out loud ‘romantic’ – ‘roman.tick’). The audience fell about laughing.

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A woman took her next-door neighbour with her when she went to the police station to report her husband was missing.

“Could you give me a description of your husband, ma’am,” the constable asked.

“He’s 35 years old, 1.8 metres, weighs about 75 kgs, has a very athletic build, gorgeous brown eyes, dark hair, is very soft spoken and wonderful with the children,” the woman replied.

“Wait a minute!” the neighbour protested. “Your husband is 1.2 metres, bald, fat, has piggy black eyes, a very big mouth and is mean to your children.”

“Yes, but who wants HIM back?” the woman said.