Normal depends on your point of view

We have friends who enjoy our company, not because of our intelligent conversation, but because they like the Goon Show. What is normal in our lives they find funny. I really don’t know why?
Take a normal day:
Ron suffers from acid indigestion, so he asked me to mix him some bicarb in water. I accidentally mixed tartaric acid (No, not on purpose). My hero leapt up gurgling and cursing and rushed to the sink to wash out his mouth. I kindly mixed bicarb to rectify my mistake. This caused him to start foaming at the mouth and yelling he was dying.
He was even angrier because I laughed so much. Really, one can feel sorry and laugh at the same time.
Once he had recovered, my beloved decided to climb on top of the shed roof to fix a leak. He happens to be rather round around the tum. One does not need to be a rocket scientist to realise if the girth is the greatest measurement, the pants cannot defy gravity. What science does not explain is why he always loses his breeks at the most awkward of moments. Like when holding a tray of glasses … or climbing on a roof.
I have a photo of angry husband with half mast pants. He was not amused by my brilliance at catching the moment for ‘posteriority’.
Another happy photo is of the time Super-husband decided to chop down a too tall paw paw tree. As our dear old gardener chopped, Ron and I pulled a rope. So, the tree fell more quickly than anticipated and we have a charming snap of Ron tumbling down the bank. Being round helps at times.
Our fish tank is inhabited by two Platanna frogs, Gormless and Lugubrious. They are sure evidence that God has a sense of humour. They dangle there reading over Ron’s shoulder. He keeps saying he has an uncanny feeling someone is watching him.
I feed said frogs bloodworm that has to be thawed in a glass of water. When I saw a glass of red liquid next to the fish tank, I thought I’d forgotten and guiltily tossed it in. More drama, but really, it is unheard of for Ron to leave a glass of red wine. Had the happiest frogs, though. Is there a (FAA) Froggy Alcoholics Anon in the area?
I have to end this epistle now. Huge Jumbo Jet, our shy black cat has just landed on the fish tank and fallen in. Must dry the poor silly dear. The frogs have not had so much excitement before so I may need to apply some froggy CPR!
“Normal” just depends on your point of view.
MARIE PARKES
Maidstone