Two Bits – 19 December 2014

Well South Africa has its third Miss World with the win by Mpumalanga beauty Rolene Strauss in London on Sunday night. The last one was Anneline Kriel all of 40 years ago and before that, our very own Penny Rey in 1958.
Penny, who now lives in Zimbali, is delighted for Rolene of course, but not at all amused with the men in her household. They wanted to watch the sevens rugby on Sunday night, so Penny didn’t get to watch the live Miss World broadcast from London.
“All we get to watch is sport, rugby, sport, rugby.”
The first she knew was when a friend from Cape Town phoned and said “Turn on the TV and watch the Miss World broadcast”.
“I had to run around to find a TV that wasn’t showing rugby. I was quite annoyed to have missed the whole show. I just got to watch the end and she is a very beautiful girl.”
Penny said she had been told that Rolene was bright and articulate and a very worthy winner.
“She has the classic looks of the Argentinian beauties who have been doing well lately. I think I would have come last in the class if I’d had to go up against her,” Penny laughed.
“Anyway, I hope the competition is broadcast again so that I can watch from the start.”
A newspaper report said the Miss World broadcast had an audience of one billion worldwide. Well we know it was one billion minus one!
• • •
Not to spoil your holiday season with much more talk of the roads, but they seem to have brought out the worst and the best in some of us.
I saw people using the four-way stop as it is supposed to be used, but I also saw a few drivers who seemed to think the rules of courtesy don’t apply to them. I even saw one taxi drive right up the M4 on the wrong side of the road because the line wasn’t moving fast enough!
Some thought the pointsmen caused more problems than if they hadn’t been there, but I disagree. They worked very hard to keep the traffic moving under very trying circumstances.
Natasja Barnard joined the ranks of the paparazzi and snapped this pic of one traffic cop dancing and jiving and smiling while directing the traffic.
“Thought this guy deserves a mention in your paper . . . total delight to see him enjoy his job!”

• • •
As it is holiday season, I’d like to share some comments sent in to travel agents by disgruntled customers:
• I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.
• I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store (in Spain) does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
• On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.
• We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.
• The beach was too sandy.
• Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.
• We bought “Ray-Ban” sunglasses for five Euros (R70) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.
• No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.
• It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home.
• My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.
• I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment, and ours was significantly smaller.
• The brochure stated: “No hairdressers at the accommodation”. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?
• A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.