Two Bits – 10 April 2015

Are those readers who called in or phoned their library to find out about buying dog poop licences still blushing? Anyhow, you spread a little joy in April Fool’s week, because the librarians are still laughing.
Oh sorry, you hadn’t realised it was a joke? Never mind!
From the comments on the Courier’s Facebook page, it comes as a surprise to me how many people belong to the grammar police. You’d think, from the average Facebook comment, that nobody was paying attention in spelling class. Plenty picked up the (deliberate) miss-spellings on the Photoshopped beach sign, though about half thought it was the municipality who couldn’t spell.
Actually, it gets harder and harder every year to come up with a plausible April Fool’s story. The line between fact and fiction in our daily lives gets really blurred, doesn’t it? How many times do you read a story in the paper and think ‘This must be a hoax’, and you check the date and it’s December.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Easter weekend as much as we did. We went up to the ‘Berg, played Scrabble, braaied and slept and walked and walked for hours, revelling in the clean, dry air. Boy, we’ve had a long and sticky summer this year, haven’t we! Hopefully the weather will turn now and we can walk three steps without breaking into a sweat.
The beaches and shopping centres were jammed over the weekend and our visitors had a good time. Thankfully there were no drownings – it’s been a bad year for those. One ten-year-old boy at Blythedale came close, but he can thank his lucky stars that some holidaymakers heard his calls for help and saved him.
But not such a good year for sinkholes. Wow, you read about potholes in other African countries so big they swallow a car, and then it happens right here on our doorstep. The hole in Colwyn Drive that swallowed a beach buggy – can’t imagine what went through the driver’s mind as he went over the edge . . .
So, ahem, municipal road fixing department, you think this pothole may be ready to fill in now?
Entries opened last week for two biggies on our annual calendar, the Miss Ballito and the Entrepreneur competitions.
I’ve spoken to people who’ve been through both and what is really impressive is how appreciative they are of the experiences. These are not the winners, they’re just there in the pack. They marvel at the effort that goes into grooming them (if that’s the right word) and how much they take away from the experience. They’re both really worthwhile projects and the Courier is proud to be associated as a sponsor.
If you are an experienced businessperson, maybe retired and looking for a little activity to keep your brain ticking over, the Chamber of Commerce would, I am sure, welcome your services to be a mentor to the aspiring entrepreneurs. It’s entirely voluntary, of course.
* * *
Paddy’s in jail. Warder looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks.
“Hanging myself,” Paddy replies.
“It should be around your neck,” says the warder.
“I know,” says Paddy, “but I couldn’t breathe.”