Happiness is: paying it forward on the Dolphin Coast

Most of us spend our lives chasing a mythical beast called “happiness” and for many, the hunt seems like it will never end.

Now, while I hardly think that I’m an authority on happiness – and this piece is meant to be silly and fun as much as it is honest advice – I have always believed that happiness comes from the little things.

In fact, I firmly believe that it is the little things that make the world go round and keep society’s glue from falling apart.

So I found myself thinking a while back about the things that make me happy, not in some grand sense, but in the more real, life affirming way. Also, given my rant about road users last week, I thought a more positive story would be a nice change of pace.

Also read: Eight things I hate about you (on the Dolphin Coast’s roads)

Sing

I can’t stress this enough – sing!

It doesn’t matter how good your voice is, sing in the shower or in the car on the way to work in the mornings. I get a lot of funny looks from other road users every morning when I drive past them, clearly singing at the top of my voice. Why feel shy about that? Should we really care if some miserable individual judges us for singing in the car and starting the day off with a little gusto?

If you have never felt the surge of emotion that a good song brings, you are seriously missing out.

The morning commute

Speaking of sitting in the car on the way to work, the morning commute is one of those things I believe is responsible for a lot of the unhappiness in the world. Don’t allow traffic and road rage to get you down – it is just not worth it.

My most important rule for fostering happiness in the morning commute though, is never – never, ever! – commute with your significant other.

I do a lot of driving up and down the coast and I have never witnessed a couple in a car together in the mornings or afternoons that look like they are happy.

Whether it is his taste in music that gets you, or her driving that pushes your buttons, sharing a car on the way to – or back from – work seems like a pretty sure fire way to lose a relationship.

Have manners and be polite

Having manners will not just make the people around you happier – it will improve the quality of your life too.

When you are friendly and say thank you and please, you show other people that you are worth their time and they will be more likely to be friendly in return.

It never ceases to amaze me how some people will walk into a shop and mistreat the workers, then wonder why they do not receive sterling service.

I can’t help laughing hysterically on the inside whenever I see someone pull this stunt with a waiter or at a fast food joint. Really? Enjoy your burger sir, I’m sure the guy you just treated like pond scum is preparing it with love and an eye for detail.

Speaking of manners, showing a few on the roads would go a long way towards making the world a less stressful place. Personally, my road rage is immediately defused as soon as someone simply raises a hand in apology. If you did something stupid, acknowledge it and use your hazards to show other road users that you do, it will make a difference in the way we all experience the roads.

Good morning, how are you?

What started out as a mere defense mechanism after I moved to the Dolphin Coast last year and didn’t know anyone has become a way of life for me. Some of the smiles I have received from people I was passing who did not expect to get a friendly greeting have truly lit up my day.

To get respect you have to give respect and one of the best ways to do this is to greet your fellow SAfricans like you mean it.

Wave thank you to the traffic official who was up at 5am this morning so he or she could get to that intersection in time to help the flow of traffic, say good morning to the lady behind the till who is ringing up your groceries, greet the petrol attendant who is on his feet all day and still manages to give you a smile – trust me, it will make you even happier than it makes them.

Laugh a lot and cry some more

Laughing and crying are two of the most primal expressions of human emotion and both are excellent ways of releasing a little pent up stress.

Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, it will show people that you do not take yourself too seriously and is an excellent way of learning not to put too much pressure on yourself to get everything right.

Be even less afraid to cry – men, I am talking to you here… A touching song, a scene in a movie, a heart wrenching story in the media – let it all out.

Not only is it cathartic for you but crying does not have to be a show of weakness – quite the opposite.

Being able to cry is a sign that you are comfortable with who you are, despite what anyone else may think. And for the guys – I have yet to meet a girl who does not say one of the characteristics of the fabled ‘perfect man’ is that he is not afraid to cry.

Helping others

What finally decided me on writing this article was a silly little experience I had in Tiffany’s Spar the other day. While walking past one of the aisles I saw an elderly lady struggling to reach a juice carton on one of the top shelves. Now, my father taught me always to help women and respect my elders (and if the lesson didn’t stick he made sure I would remember with ‘n lekker pak slae!), so I walked up and greeted her before helping her to get the carton down.

A random little act of passing kindness I know – and one that I am sure we would all like to think we would do – but it left me feeling a bit better about myself for the rest of the afternoon and, I hope, will have left the lady thinking that our generation isn’t a totally lost cause.

Random acts of kindness and helping strangers are exactly the kind of little things I spoke about at the start of this article.

It is one of my core beliefs that things like this can have an impact far beyond what we even realise and that the concept of paying it forward is one of the purest motivations we can experience as human beings.

So, go the extra mile for someone without expecting anything in return – trust me – it has as much of an effect on you as it has on the other person.

The Sunscreen Song

I was introduced to The Sunscreen Song when I was quite young, if you have never heard it – do yourself a favour and give it a listen. The song expresses so many great ideas about modern life and how not to sweat the small things and it contains some of the funniest lyrics you will ever hear.

Well, there you have it. Just a few simple tips for living a happier life – nothing too grandiose but, I think, little things that can have a big impact on the day to day quality of your life.

>>  Expect to find the latest trends in Health, Wellness and Beauty in Ballito.

>> Meet the top players in the North Coast property industry. See our Property People feature.

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