Elmarie Wright of Ballito writes:
I was recently invited to join the Facebook group #LeaveOurKidsAlone and as a mom of three, the eldest 29 and youngest 11, I was curious so I had a look at the page to see what they stand for.
The page is for parents, teachers, principals and schools who oppose the current and planned sexuality education in the Life Orientation curriculum for grades 4 to 12. All info on this group is based on information from the Department of Basic Education and UNESCO.
I downloaded the UNESCO doc in question and read through parts of it. All I could find was rational, well researched and balanced guidelines for sexuality education. A factual approach that will equip children to make the choices they need to when the time comes.
Those choices will obviously also be influenced by their culture, religion, beliefs and moral codes, as learnt at home.
As per UNESCO doc intro: “Too many young people still make the transition from childhood to adulthood receiving inaccurate, incomplete or judgement laden information …” It goes on to say that this inadequate preparation makes our children vulnerable.
Contrary to a clear and rational document, what I found on the #LeaveOurKidsAlone Facebook page is not factually based, not well-researched and members of the group make far-fetched claims varying form “this is part of the new world order” to “it’s satanic and brainwashing the youth”, it’s “grooming and sexual abuse”, but the worst of it is the unbridled bigotry from members towards the LBGTQ community with comments like “You want to be part of the LGBTQ great. Our kids don’t need your smut and jaded views” and “Trying to corrupt our kids”.
The “let girls be girls, and boys be boys” views need to be challenged, and the proposed curriculum in part does just that. Unless you have first-hand experience, you have no idea what kind of difficulty children that do not fit into these boxes created by society have in facing their judgmental and uneducated communities.
I also went through the various local school textbook examples the members were posting accompanied by their comments.
They criticized the examples but I thought they were very relevant and I would imagine especially for the majority of government school kids, many whom come from poorer communities with little access to factual information that can make a world of difference to these kids in learning how to protect themselves from sexual predators.
They claim it’s the responsibility of the parent to provide sex education. Truth is, not many parents live up to this and when you look at SA demographics they are probably a small percentage that do.
They talk about protecting innocence, like this will make them dirty somehow and ruin them if, God forbid, they’re taught about respecting their bodies or when they’re older, a condom.
Sex is treated on this group like it’s a dirty thing, like just knowing how this works will ruin your child. I think a child can be naïve to their own detriment, being confidently equipped makes them less vulnerable. In the same way as learning about the effects of drugs or the types of drugs that do not turn your child into a drug addict.
I applaud this fact based approach and I believe that knowledge is power and that it does indeed equip kids. I have faith that my children will be able to navigate their way through life. I don’t have to withhold information from them. In fact I want them to be equipped, to ask questions, to understand, to think critically. As with any other information I would like them to apply the filter they have, the one they have learnt at home.
I will certainly not shame them into thinking sex is a taboo topic or that abstinence is the only moral way.
I am not an expert in the field but I believe the experts when they say that “Sexuality education does not promote promiscuity; it promotes healthy, informed, and responsible behaviour”.
Lastly, dear Lauren Evanthia, founder of the page, making kids aware that the “funny feeling” in their tummy means something is off and that they should tell a trusted adult is not grooming, it’s empowerment. Knowing this will not ruin a child’s innocence. It might just protect it.
Needless to say, this page might be for thousands but it’s NOT FOR ME. I trust there are many other independent thinking parents out there that do not agree with the sentiments of this group.
The curriculum in question is introduced to kids starting at grade 4 and the full curriculum is available online.
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