Local author shares Kitchen Wisdom with the women out there
With the launch of her new book, Kitchen Wisdom: What we hate to hear, but need to know about men and romance, Nokulinda Mkhize means to empower the women of South Africa to follow ther hearts.
Serving its readers a hearty message of discernment is Kitchen Wisdom: What we hate to hear, but need to know about men and romance. Recently launched at Melville’s Book Circle Capital, it’s audience was left feeling satisfied, but with an insatiable desire for more.
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The book’s author, Nokulinda Mkhize, said the name of the book is meant to capture the essence of the book’s message – The reimagining and reclamation of women’s spaces and intelligence as relevant, empowering, and necessary. It explores intergenerational perspectives and guidance which women have shared with one another, supporting each other through the challenges of womanhood and romantic relationships.
Kitchen Wisdom, now in its second print run, is Mkhize’s second book, following Ancestory: Ancient Lessons for Modern Life, which was published in 2022. “I feel nervous and excited to share it. I love community and love the ways in which women share resilience, courage, innovation, and care, in spite of social, traditional, and economic challenges. Kitchen Wisdom is written in reflection and celebration of that.”
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It’s her hope that her books always both challenge and affirm her reader’s sense of themselves in the world. She described her work as inviting readers to imagine a framework for making sense of life. The challenges and opportunities that go beyond western values. Surviving the hamster wheel of modern life. How she sees it is: There is no formula or quick fix for life, but you can look into your history, and community, for a roadmap that can anchor your values and choices.
Her work as an integral coach, and being a sangoma (traditional healer), had her notice a consistent pattern in the social and emotional challenges she encountered through her work. “Many women were struggling to juggle relationships, romance. and adult responsibilities” One of the challenges was that women found themselves more alienated than ever before. Adding to the problems of their modern lives. The independently published book provides an opportunity to revisit the tried and true wisdom that comes from the loving communities of women.
Mkhize says one of the things women hate to hear is that romance is not an individual accomplishment. “It is not what Hollywood’s fairy tales have told us,” she said. “Romance and relationships are influenced by society and the world. There are many social and cultural realities that affect how we attract and interact with potential partners.” The two time published author said relationships have so many different considerations and moving parts, making them more than just attraction and emotion. She quoted a passage from the book: “Courtship can be fun, but building a life with someone? That’s the real challenge. We have to learn to separate feelings and chemistry from the practical reality of dealing with another person, adult-to-adult.”
But still, she thinks romance is beautiful. “It’s a special combination of chemistry, companionship, desire, and affection. It can be delightful, fun, addictive, affirming, and exciting – all of which are important for our human experience. It touches many parts of our hearts and spirits.”
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