Understanding changes in circumstances in the home
Changes in circumstances when one partner is unable to function as they did prior to their illness often causes discord in relationships
Being in a position of vulnerability when one is suffering from a debilitating physical illness can often lead to feelings of inadequacy that can manifest into unhappiness in the home.
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Dealing with these feelings by communication and problem-solving is the key to unlocking harmony in the home.
Changes in circumstances when one partner is unable to function as they did prior to their illness often causes discord in relationships and people suffering from chronic illness can be left feeling suicidal or lonely.
These and other topics were discussed at the support group meeting on Saturday hosted by Act of Random Kindness (ARK) Support Group and supported by the cancer survivors group.
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A handful of people gathered at the AFM Church in Brickhill Road to be part of the meeting, which is meant to be a platform to share, learn and inspire. Co-founder of the ARK Support Group Pastor Ben Pretorius opened the meeting with a prayer before Shailen Sunderpersad proceeded with the topic for the afternoon – Changes in circumstances.
He encouraged everyone present to write down five likes and dislikes about their partners, explaining that this simple practice will help to better understand your partner. Going around the room, Mr Sunderpersad asked each person for a ‘forgotten word.’
“These are words that we forget to say, like ‘sorry’, how often do we say we are sorry?” asked Mr Sunderpersad.
The audience mentioned ‘thank you’, ‘mercy’, excuse’, ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you.’“How often do you as husband and wife touch each other? How often do you have sex?” he asked, while some audience members cast their eyes downward.
“Why am I speaking about sex in the house of God?” Mr Sunderpersad continued. “It’s because it is one of the things that connects a couple and creates happy hormones, it makes you feel better, it changes everything,” he explained.
Substantiating that sharing intimate time with your spouse deepens your physical connection, Mr Sunderpersad said it also ignites commitment and trust. Husbands and wives were encouraged to remember the vows they made and not let feelings of guilt or worthlessness take over.
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It was explained that when one person is unable to be the family’s breadwinner due to a physical or mental illness, this often places strain on a relationship but Mr Sunderpersad encouraged the support group members to remember that men and women are regarded as equal and this should be the driving force in the home.
He also cautioned parents that their behaviour reflects on their children and to be attentive of their susceptible minds.
The meeting concluded with plans for the year-end function, which has been scheduled for December 16. Members agreed that a bring-and-share would be most cost-effective.
An appeal was made to any local businesses to assist with any sponsorship for the support group’s year-end function. If you can help, please contact Shailen Sunderpersad on 074 858 5809.
The next support group meeting will be held on November 10 at 2pm at the AFM Church in Brickhill Road.
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