#MotivationMonday: How to thrive as a Single Mother

Are you a single mother? As you may have guessed, this is not a job for the faint of heart.

You are your child’s mother, father, friend, taxi driver, and much more. The pressure is intense, and you may find yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

But that’s fine. Don’t give up yet…

Sometimes all it takes is a deep breath and a step forward.

After all, you are more than just a single mother; to your child you are super-woman.

See our guide to coping with the daily challenges of being a single mother below:

• Take a deep breath… Now count to ten:

Children do not come with user manuals. You just have to figure it out as you go along. It is easy to lose your temper when you are constantly in stressful situations, and on top of that, you are on ‘parent’ duty 24/7.

If you feel yourself about to lose your cool, take a step back and count to ten. You’ll feel better in a few minutes and more prepared to deal with your child’s problem.

• There’s no reason to rush:

Mornings are frantic (especially Monday mornings). It’s a race against time to get your kids dressed, fed, and ready for school.

Get rid of the morning chores and spend that extra hour or so with your children. This relaxed approach relieves you of a lot of stress, and your children will appreciate the extra quality time.

• Kudos, Mom:

Nobody is going to give you a pat on the back for cooking and cleaning after working all day and then helping with homework in the evenings.

You should be aware that you are the one causing everything to happen. Look yourself in the mirror, smile, and tell yourself that you’re doing a great job.

• Multitasking is essential:

Laundry, dishes, mopping the floors, and crying kids. It all seems a little overwhelming at times, doesn’t it? As a mother, you master the art of multitasking before collapsing and crying from exhaustion.

However, it is not all that bad. Housework and playtime can be accomplished at the same time by sitting in the living room with your laundry basket while your children play with their toys.

• Take care of yourself, as well:

In your life, happy hour, parties, and trips to the salon always seem to take a back seat. “I just don’t have the time,” is a common excuse.

You appear to believe that, as the sole parent, you are constantly required at home, both physically and emotionally. No! However, a social life is essential for your mental health.

We’re not suggesting that you go out every night, but make an effort to meet a friend for a cup of tea/coffee or a well-deserved “girls night out” at least once a month.

• Ground rules are essential:

Children require rules. Set up a chore chart and inform them that they will be rewarded for helping around the house. Children don’t mind doing chores if they know they’ll get something out of it.

• Establish boundaries:

When it comes to discipline, children with single parents frequently take chances. It is your responsibility to teach them when their behavior is inappropriate. Making house rules will assist them in recognizing what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

• Tantrums? Simply ignore it:

Children, particularly those with single or divorced parents, frequently misbehave to gain attention. Do not let it succeed. Ignore the behavior and walk away.

The kids will quickly realize they are not gaining anything and will stop. Address the issue and explain the consequences of their actions after they have calmed down.

• Give them a time out:

Yes, the dreaded time out. Choose a location, such as a chair or a corner of the house. Let him or her to sit there for a few minutes. Your child is forced to reflect on their bad behavior, and the fact that children dislike being alone will make them avoid the quiet corner in the future.

• Mommy needs to pamper herself:

Take an hour for yourself after your children are all in bed and sound asleep. You could read a book, watch a movie, or even paint your toes. You deserve some well-deserved ‘me time’.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

You may be a’super mom,’ but you are not a superwoman. You will not always know everything. You will have times when you feel like you are falling apart and need to take some time for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. Drop the kids off with Grandma for an hour and go relax. No one will think you’re failing because you couldn’t cope for a brief moment.

• Keep in mind that it is not their fault:

Being a single mother is a difficult job. The stress levels seem to be at an all-time high, and a tantrum can be more annoying on a bad day than on other days.

Take care not to vent your frustrations on your child. Instead, leave the room and return when you’re feeling better. You will be sorry in the future for the harm it can cause a child.

• Taking care of a sick child:

Flus, colds, and runny noses are every mother’s worst nightmare when their child is ill. You hardly sleep and will almost certainly need to take time off work to nurse your child for a day or two.

This can be difficult when work circumstances do not allow for such flexibility. Make arrangements with a family member or close friend to care for your child until you return home.

• Last but not least, abandon the pursuit of perfection:

You read that correctly. No such thing as a perfect parent exists. Even if you read every book and followed every piece of advice, you are bound to make a mistake somewhere. This does not imply that you are a bad parent; rather, it indicates that you are a realistic parent.

You’re only human, and as a single mother, you have to make do with what you’ve got!

The news provided to you in this link has been investigated and compiled by the editorial staff of the Newcastle Advertiser, a sold newspaper distributed in the Newcastle area. Please follow us on Youtube and feel free to like, comment, and subscribe. For more local news, visit our webpage, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and request an add on our WhatsApp (082 874 5550).